The Joy of Six...

Just Asking....

Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

 

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

 

Have a great day everyone....and to all of my nutty friends...Gimme five!  ~Joy xo

Art for Art’s sake….

“Draw me a circle that’s perfectly round…

One flowing line….simple and fine.”

 

All my life I’ve always wished I was born with talent to draw or paint beautiful pictures….portraits, landscapes…EVERYTHING.  I so admire people who can sit down and just let this kind of creativity flow through their fingers.  I sit down and try my best to draw a decent picture that doesn’t resemble my childhood scribblings…sometimes I don’t see much difference.

 

I know now why I turned to poetry and crafts such as knitting, crocheting and needlepoint….it just isn’t innately in me to draw beautiful pictures.  All the more why I’m drawn to those who possess this talent.

 

I’m an avid fan of a lot of artistic expression…fascinated by it.  I’ve posted many different kinds of artistry here on my blog because I’m such a fan; and I think I keep an open mind and stay pretty objective regarding all kinds of art.

 

Recently I was sent an e-mail from one of my relatives that had some pictures of…. ‘pieces of art’….if you will….by an artist from The Netherlands.  Here are the pictures sent to me in the e-mail…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

I found this art bazaar to say the least in respect to what I personally am drawn to regarding art….but I also found it very interesting; fascinating actually.   Staying objective, I wanted to find out more about the artist behind these pieces….so I Googled him.

 

His name is Levi van Veluw.  He was born in 1985 in Hoevelaken, The Netherlands.  He’s a multidisciplinary artist who has had his art exhibited all over the world…especially The Netherlands.  Much of his art is presently found in the Ronmandos Gallery Amsterdam.

 

He has won numerous awards and nominations, and his work has been featured in many publications.

 

Here is what the artist himself says about his work:h

 

 

"The images that I make consist of often unlogical combinations of materials, patterns, colours, forms, with my head as the only constant factor.  Each element is consciously chosen so as to affect a predetermined transformation.  By playing with the value of each material and by using them for a purpose that was not originally intended for them, I construct within the image, in a very small way, a different perspective on the world.

 

In most cases it is my head that is the carrier of these transformations and combinations.  The expressionless, and almost universal face, allows the viewer to project himself onto the work.  Because the works have really existed and have not been digitally manipulated, each image contains a short history of a performance.

 

The commonplace notion of the 'aesthetic' image is that which is free of unsatisfactory characteristics and general human imperfections.  This in my opinion is the most superficial form of beauty.  In my work I attempt to create a different form of aesthetic.

 

The unusual and unimpressive materials, traces of glue and other imperfections that exist in the production of the work are what form the aesthetic value in my image.  This revaluation of these normally insignificant elements only occurs because they now exist in a new context that distances them from their original circumstances and associations.

 

During this process I became more and more aware that all objects, materials, events are assigned a commonly held value, but that this valuation could just as easily be different.  It was those elements that nobody had an opinion about that then became most interesting to me.  Because they seem to contain little meaning to people, they are malleable and can easily have their perceptions about them altered.

 

My work amounts to small researches into the valuations we assign to the things around us and the associations they engender in this way.  Although these underlying reasons are not immediately apparent in the work, a very specific unsettling reaction is invoked in the viewer.  Although the cause of this reaction is a mere piece of grey carpet, it is logical that people react to it in this way as the viewer is essentially forced to review his commonly-held notions about this material.  The image succeeds in shifting the viewer's perception, be it in a very small way and about an unimportant subject."

 

 

And....here are a few more pieces of Levi’s work:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I still find it most bazaar…yet fascinating; especially since he creates these pieces on himself.  Can you imagine being one of his ‘canvases?’  What do you think?   ~Joy xo

Christmas Shopping….Check - √

I’ve got all my Christmas shopping done!

  No stone-throwing please….or name-calling.  I bet some of you are done too. This isn’t that unusual for me really…to be done this early.  Sometimes I’m done even earlier.  My daughter Jenna is usually the culprit who gets the ‘Christmas Shopping’ fires burning; and once they’re ignited we’re on a mission until we’re done.  It feels good to have that part over with.  Of course now it all has to be wrapped and a good portion of it shipped; and believe me that will be no small task.  But I’ll cross that bridge…..

 

The fun part of all of this was talking on the phone to Bella and Bastian to see what they were asking Santa for.  Good God!  Bella’s list was as long as my arm….my good one.  She had a lot of arts and crafts stuff on it and Pokemon cards and dolls and a game for her DS and Brat dolls and this thing to make a giant cupcake and stuff to make science projects and things with  beads and quite a bit more…..

 

 

While Bastian just kept saying a lot of Thomas the Train stuff, like Cranky the Crane…and oh yes, Superman and Spiderman stuff.  I told them both that Aunt Jenna and I may have to take some ideas off of their Santa lists when we went shopping if that was okay with them.  No objections there.

 

 

So Aunt Jenna, Uncle Joe and I have quite a nice stash of things to be wrapped and shipped to those two little ones when the time comes.  Jen and I will be going to Julie’s for Christmas this year (Uncle Joe can’t go, he’s working at the Police Dept.) so I won’t even really be decorating the house this year….which will be very strange.  I’m still thinking about at least putting the tree up; but even that is so much work with all the ornaments and stuff that I have, and we won’t even be here.  Still, it feels too weird not having anything up at all in this house that normally looks like a Hallmark store. 

 

 

Jenna’s in the same boat with her place.  She takes after me.  You should see her place right now.  She decided to put all of her decorations out for Halloween; which she just loves.  OH MY GOD!!!  That’s really all I can say.  There are no words.  I knew she had a LOT of things…cripes I got her a lot of them; but my mouth literally fell open when I walked in there the other day and she had EVERYTHING up and lit and displayed.  Now THAT was like walking into HALLMARK.  I blame myself….but what fun!!!!  Everyone loves to go to Jen’s….for the experience.  I wish I would have thought to tell Jen to take some pictures of her place so I could have posted them to show you.

 

 

I don’t know if being organized this year had anything to do with me going a little ‘overboard’ again in the $$$ department on gifts…but I did.  I always tell myself to keep it down and to not get crazy…especially when it comes to the babes.  I just don’t always listen to that little voice in my head.  I swear, sometimes I’m hopeless….and again, Jenna’s right behind me.  Hey, you never know the situation Santa may be in this year….we are in a recession; maybe he could use a little help.

 

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Ponderisms

 

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

 

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

 

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

 

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

Life is sexually transmitted.

 

Have you noticed since everyone has a phone camera these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

 

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

 

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

 

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

 

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.

 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

 

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

 

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

Never take life seriously Nobody gets out alive anyway.

 

 

 
  

Are you ready for Halloween everyone?  I’ve got my candy…way too much again.  I do it every year; but I’m always afraid of running out.  Then I have so much left over; and who do you think munches on it?  Sad, isn’t it?  I just never learn.  Love to you all….BOO!  ~Joy

 

Just some Stuff from Joy

The Human Body

 

 

          It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

  
 One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb). 

 The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. 

 Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. 

 A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. 

 There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
  
 Women blink twice as often as men. 

 The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
  
 Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. 

 If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. 

 Women reading this will be finished now. 

 

  
 Men are still busy checking their thumbs. 

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Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
 

Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

 

Only in  America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

 

 

EVER WONDER ... 

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

 

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

 

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

 

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

 

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice?

 

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

 

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

 

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

 

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

 

 

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

 

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?

 

 

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

 

 

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

 

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

 

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

 

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

 

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

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In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli...

...cauliflower and spinach, with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Kreme. And Satan said: You want hot fudge with that? And Man said: yes! And Woman said: I'll have one too, with sprinkles. And, lo, they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

So God said: Try my fresh green garden salad. And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said: I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them. And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken-fried steak...so big that it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and slicked the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

God then gave them lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and the 99 cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said: You want fries with that? And Man replied: Yes! And super size 'em! And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed....and created quadruple by-pass surgery. And then...Satan chuckled and created HMOs.

~~'Damn Smart Ass'.....  Hugs, Joy

 

Hey, it's not so bad being in the doghouse....

In keeping with my 'house' theme....

....and I thought it was insane to see the excessive extremes people went to for their kids with play houses in my last post.  Get a load of some of these doghouses for their pups.  Let me know what you think about these 'pooch palaces.'  GOOD GRIEF!! (Click on pictures to enlarge.)

 

This is the Asian style...

  

Some dogs live better than some people do.  It even has storm windows and air conditioning!!

 

This pup's palace is valued at $8,000.

 

A $10,500 doghouse with a lake view, flatscreen TV, and air conditioning!  This is the front view.

 

This is the inside.

 

How about a Spanish style? (Valued between $15,000 and $20,000.)

 

Interior of the Spanish style....

 

And lastly....for 'doggies on the move.'  I love this one.  It's so cute.

 

I wonder if any of these dogs are behind in their payments.  People are nutty about their pets....or just nutty.  Thanks to my cousin, Donna for sending me these pics.

The Way of the Treehouse

When was the last time you saw a treehouse?  I can't remember the last time I did.  I've never seen one in my neighborhood.  We have a lot of cute little playhouses in backyards all over the place.  As a matter of fact, Jenna, Joe, Jory and I gave Bella and Bastian a really nice one as a gift a couple of years ago for their backyard...and they loved it.

I guess a playhouse on the ground is a lot safer than a little wooden house perched in a tree somewhere.  I get that concept.  I wouldn't feel completely comfortable with that either by any means.  How in the world did mothers deal with it.... way back then?  I never really had a treehouse, but I did play in a couple of them from time to time.  And you have to admit....treehouses were 'the bomb.'

Of course there are always those who have to go to the extreme with their children......and their playhouses.  In a time in our economy where people are struggling, I actually find the houses below a little offensive.  When a child has a playhouse that costs more than some people can afford to live in; and is nicer than a lot of people DO live in.....something is very wrong. And what about those people who have lost their homes?  What do you think?

(Click on pictures to enlarge)

 

 

 

  

 

  

I realize this is all relative, and these houses were probably purchased by people who are pretty well-off and probably won't be standing in line for food stamps any time soon.... and they can certainly choose to do what they want with the money that they earn; but I can't help how I feel about it.  It's tough out there for a lot of people.

Home Sweet Home

These are unbelievable! A lot of these houses just won't do for any gardener.  There are no yards or gardens.  Could you go to sleep at night and not wonder if these houses would even be there the next morning?  (Click on picture to enlarge)

#1 Don't want visitors?....Just unhook the cable! (I'm sorry, but the cable is NOT the only thing I'm worried about here.)

   

#2  Most people use trees for a windbreak. (But I guess mountains of rocks will do.)

   

#3  Consider the panic if you hear a branch crack! (Roots don't fail me now!)

 

#4  How did they get that car in there? (I bet they don't run a whole lot of errands.)

 

#5  Long climb after a day's work! (Does anyone even see that ladder? That's one home I won't be visiting.)

 

#6  Tree below....flowers above...some people are just weird. (That's some glorified treehouse.)

 

#7  Not during hurricane season, thank you! (Or any other season.)

 

#8  Got a little problem with dampness at your house? (How about mold?)

 

#9  I've heard of people's bridgework, but this is ridiculous! (I wonder if they have their own troll.)

 

#10  Better talk to Al Gore about Global Warming. (What happens when they have to turn up the heat?)

I can't imagine residing in ANY of these homes.  Can you?  Living in one of these domiciles makes my humdrum little hovel and it's little problems seem pretty tame.  I guess I won't complain about my leaky roof anymore.  Oh who am I kidding....yes I will.  Have a good week everyone....and count your blessings for the nice, normal, sturdy roof you have over your head.  Love, Joy

Inquiring minds want to know....

 

 

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

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Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?  Where's that extra penny going to?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no NORMAL human being would eat?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  They're both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

Have a great weekend everyone....Hugs, Joy   

Oooo, oooo, I Have a Question....

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

It's income tax time! Did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells  'THEIRS'? 

What....Already?

Am I the only one who didn't realize Daylight Savings Time starts tonight?

Yep, tonight at 2:00 a.m. (It's actually Sunday, isn't it?) marks the start of DST, so don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour.

(From an article by Evan Jordan Jr. in the BYU NewsNet)

The Energy Policy Act of 2005 established the days and hours of daylight time's clock changes. Clocks are set an hour ahead beginning the second Sunday of March and lose an hour the first Sunday of November.

The Uniform Time Act of 1966 standardized the dates of daylight time as the last Sunday in April and the last Sunday in October. An energy crisis led Congress to move daylight savings time to early January in 1974, then to late February in 1975. Starting the next year the clocks changed on the last Sunday in April and remained that way for 10 years.

In 1986, a law changed the time shift to begin the first Sunday in April where it remained until the Energy Policy Act of 2005.

One of the biggest reasons for daylight savings time is to save energy.  Energy use and the demand for electricity are directly related to when people go to bed.

It's been reported that the effects of daylight time on health are both positive and negative.  People who suffer from depression often benefit from the time change because the switch encourages people to start their days earlier and adds an hour of sunlight to the day.

There seems to be a safety reason to observe daylight savings time too. Research conducted by highway safety research analysts showed motor vehicle crashes resulting in pedestrian and vehicle occupant fatalities decrease during daylight savings time.

On the other hand, a common physical downside to the time shift is the interruption of sleep patterns. Changing the clock has an affect on our internal clock, and can be disrupted, even by an hour.  It's comparable to jet lag.  Losing even one hour can hinder a person's performance.

Here are some steps you can take to minimize the negative consequences of the time shift: (Oops, since DST snuck up on me....it may be too late to try some of these this time around...Hee, hee)

* Sleep more before and after the time change

* Go to sleep and wake up 20 minutes earlier for each of the three days before the change

* Establish a regular sleeping and waking schedule

* Exercise regularly, best if done a few hours before sleeping

* Try a relaxing routine before bedtime

* Sleep in a room that is dark, quiet, comfortable and cool

So whether you're ready or not, don't forget to set your clocks tonight....sweet dreams.