The Joy of Six...

No, really, don't bother....gee, thanks

Do we all feel this way.....or is it just me? (Thanks to my cousin, Pat, for sending me this.)  ~Joy xoxo

As we progress into 2013, I want to thank you all for your educational e-mails over the past year.  I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel,  nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

 

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

I must send my special thanks for the e-mail about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

 

And don't you just love getting one of these?

 

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbors ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician!

Oh, and by the way . . .

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Hah!! Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S.   I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet. 

NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A GREAT DAY.

Hello 2013!

 

My blogging buddy, Darlene; who's been out of commission with her blog for a while, sent this to me saying these will start the new year off right....I agree.  Happy New Year everyone!  May 2013 bring you everything that really counts....health, happiness, comfort, peace and love.  Here's a little love I'm looking forward to in the New Year.....Cheers!    ~Joy  xo

Bastian, Olive, Bella and Violet

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.  Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you  sure?'  The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a  root-canal?  His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Yes, I'm still alive....Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

I know, I know...I've been AWOL again.  I'm not sure I can explain it away; but I'll make a feeble attempt.  I ran a little late this year getting my Christmas decorations up.  I can hear many of you saying "No kidding," since I've been so absent blogging.  Well, things got put up and the house looks very festive.  I didn't put everything up this year, but you'd never know it.  I just have TOO many things.  When I die, my kids are going to get saddled with the burden of figuring out 'who gets what' and what to do with it all.  Sorry guys.

I've gotten everything wrapped, shipped and delivered....so that's a relief.  Got groceries in and Xmas cards out....check.  I seriously wasn't going to send cards out this year....but I just can't seem to get past the guilt. 

Jory and baby Violet were here for about four days....partly business, partly pleasure.  Uncle Joe, Aunt Jenna and I got our 'baby fix,' but it wasn't nearly enough for Jenna and I.  I'm missing that little bundle of sweetness a lot.  We were so wrapped up in playing and oogling over her that we somehow didn't remember to take a lot more pics.  I think Jory got a few, so I guess I'll have to ask her to send them on to me.  We took Violet over to see Nana, my mother-in-law...for the first time.  She was just over the top to see that baby.  Four generations right there....and we blew another photo opportunity.  God, what were we thinking?  We just never thought to take pictures of it.  Hope the chance comes around again.  Nana is 95 years old....God Bless her.

Jory had a very long day of business in downtown Chicago one of the days, and Jen and I were with Violet the whole day.  Our mission was to try to get some of mommy's milk....or formula into that little babe.  Jory wasn't having much success bottle feeding her before she came, and we didn't fare any better.  She didn't want much to do with it....she was tough and wanted Mommy.  I've had four kids...and I don't remember having problems switching from breast feeding to bottles; which made it a lot worse on me when she wouldn't drink much and cried herself to sleep a few times.  I felt like we were the worst Grandma and Aunt in the world....but still we tried.  Jenna was really a trooper and was so loving with Vi.  Outside of the bottle fiasco, Violet was so much fun.  All gooing, gurggly and smiley.  Oh my heart.  We absorbed every little thing she did...and couldn't stop looking at her.  Their little visit went all too quickly.

I hope you all are enjoying this holiday season and spending it with those you love.  The recent events in Connecticut have surely made us all pause to appreciate and hold dear the loves in our lives.  God Bless you all.  Happy Holidays...and may 2013 be very good to all of us in every way.  ~Joy xo

Christmas Is Always Christmas

                                                                                    

We all remember some past December

of cocoa and nights decorating the tree.

Of tinsel and angels and lights burning bright;

and mistletoe hanging…oh what a sight!                                           

 

And the smell of the pine from the tree that we got

that we proudly picked out from the old corner lot.

And the ornaments the children gingerly placed

all over the tree in just the right space.                                                               

 

Of the candy canes hanging on branches so bright;

and the wreaths and the holly…it all seemed so right.

When putting the star atop of the tree

was all that it took to get a smile out of me.                                  

 

The wrapping of presents, and writing out cards;

and snowmen and lights softly draping the yards.

Oh the feeling of joy that touched everyone

and held us for days in laughter and fun.                                                               

 

And the Carolers coming to sing at the door;

and the joy on the faces of those they sang for.

And mom’s special cookies and over-baked breads…

The rapturous smells went straight to our heads.         

 

Of turkey and ham and stuffing and pie;

Our tummies so full we thought we would die.

All sitting cozy in the glow of the fire;

looking into the faces we love and admire.                                                         

 

And wrapping ourselves up snuggly and tight

in Grandpa’s strong arms for most of the night.

And Grandma’s perfume encircling our noses;

A sweet flowery scent…like petals of roses.                                                         

 

In moments like these…how good life can be

as you bask in the glow of your “near perfect” tree.

The years always change…they’ll come and go….

But Christmas is Christmas…and will always be so.

                                     

                                                          -Joy

 

It's Turkey Time!

I've been a baaaad blogger.  Yes, I've had a lot of other things on my mind, but I won't give any excuses.  It's not like I didn't have the time....I just didn't have the inclination.... and wasn't up to doing it.  But I did want to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope you have a beautiful day filled with warmth, love, friends and family....and lots of good food.  Bless you all....          ~Joy  xo

 

Pass The Gravy….  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh dear God if you’re listening take my words to be true;

Thanksgiving Day’s here, so I’m coming to you.

An abundance of food is sure to be found.

I’m praying you’ll guide me….and help slow me down.                                                                                                                  

Please give me strength…I implore and beseech

That you’ll keep ‘second helpings’ well out of my reach.

That you’ll keep me in check as my plate grows;

And you’ll stop me from hogging the mashed potatoes.                                                                                                               

That veggie-cheese casserole can’t come my way,

And somehow you must keep the gravy at bay.

I’m asking a lot for this day so divine,

And I’m sure you’ve got other requests…not just mine.                                                                                                                   

Remind me that one scoop of stuffing suffices;

And turkey is fine….just not five or six slices.

With all that is laid out on splendid display,

I hope buttered rolls won’t be part of my day.                                                         

Why can’t I load up on things better for me?

Because on this day….there are none to be seen.

Cranberries or jello might work for me best;

But who in their right mind could give up the rest?                                                                                                                     

Let me eat a bit slower and take it all in;

Small bites, so the gravy won’t drip from my chin.

Let me breathe in the joy of every aroma;

And don’t lay me victim to some turkey coma.                                                         

Yes, I need you to know that my wishes are dire;

For one of these times I’m sure to expire.

I figured a prayer just a few days before,

Might keep me from ending up flat on the floor.                                                       

So God keep me honest, and please stay alert.

I have to leave room for all the dessert.

                                         ~ Joy             

Life with Liv....and Lettie

Hi everyone.  It's me again, Olive.  I asked Grandma if I could talk on her blog again 'cause I have so much to tell you.

Guess what?  I'm two whole years old now.  Yeah, my birthday was a few days ago.  We had lots of fun.  Mommy made these really good cakey balls.  Aunt Jenna made them at Grandma's house when I was there, and boy were they good.  Aunt Jenna told Mommy her special recipe, and she made lollipops out of them....YUMMY.

We did lots of things on my birthday.  We went to this special place that had lots of fun things to do....and I saw a puppet show.  That was really cool.  My little sister came with us, but I don't think she saw the puppets 'cause she was sleeping.  She sleeps a lot.

Speakin' of my little sister....even though she sleeps a whole lot, she's very fun and cuddly.  Sometimes I even get to hold her; but I have to be very careful.  She's just little, you know?

Anyway, back to my birthday.  I got lots of really great presents; but I got the best present ever from Mommy and Daddy.  My very own kitchen!   I've been makin' lots of stuff for my dollie, and she likes everything I make her.  Maybe I can make something special for Violet; but she mostly just drinks milk.  I love cooking in my kitchen....it's the best kitchen ever.

Well everybody, that's all I have to tell you for now.  I'll be back....my Grandma loves to share her blog with me.   Lots of love,  Olive  xo

We will never forget....

Sisters...

Olive meets Violet for the first time.  Oh my heart....no words needed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a beautiful weekend everyone.... ~Joy (Grandma DJ)

She's Here!! Welcome sweet Violet....

My fourth grandchild was born around 1:00 this morning and she and mommy are doing fine.  I had talked to my daughter, Jory, earlier in the day and we knew the arrival would be soon.  She definitely was ready.

Violet Des Jardins Markman came into this world at 8 lbs. 1 1/2 oz. and 20 1/2".  She has a good amount of hair.  My daughter thought about calling me around 3:00 AM with the news, but decided against it.  She didn't want to wake me.  Really?  If ever there was a time to call and wake me for something....this would be it.  Crazy girl.  So I got the call around 7:30 this morning....and even then she was afraid she'd wake me.  OH MY GOD!

We're all very excited to see more pics...and possibly some videos of sweet Violet.  Big sister Olive will be going to the hospital a little later today to see her new baby sister.  I REALLY want to see pics of that.

I'd say that finally Jory and Jess will be able to get a little sleep, but we all know that's not going to happen.  I'm so thrilled....and relieved.   Love to everyone... ~Joy  xo 

What the heck have I been up to?

Oy, it's been a while hasn't it?  I didn't even notice how much time had passed since I last posted...hmm, wonder what that tells me.  I guess I was more burned-out than I thought.  I apologize to all of my blogging friends for not visiting you all as much as I thought I would.  Best laid plans, right?  I could easily make a novel out of this post; but I'll try to spare you all the boring details...or at least most of them.

First of all....as many of you already know, I have been dealing with some on-going back problems.  Going to a chiropractor over the past few months helped me a great deal as far as range of motion and getting a few discs in better shape, but I still have some stubborn muscles hanging around; and as much as I've asked the 'man upstairs' for a little miracle work....he must have bigger things on his list.  I'm dealing with it. 

At the end of May I had an upper GI.  All went well, but found out I had some gastritis going on....no big surprise.  I had been having stomach problems on and off for some months.  Medicine and watching my diet has helped me greatly.  Huh, who knew that eating more properly would make a difference....a little sarcasm.  I've never had to worry about such things....apparently until now.  Ah the joys of growing older.

Needless to say, the combination of back and stomach woes kind of took its toll on me and sent me into a little slump somewhere in March.  I'm feeling much better now, but never let it be said that time, love, understanding, patience, perseverance, and good medication don't play a huge part in the healing and recovery process.

June was a very busy month for me.  We had a family wedding here in town, and all my kids came in for it.  Julie came sans family because Bella and Bastian hadn't finished school yet.  She was literally in for the wedding...and was gone the next day.  Way too short a visit with her, but even that brief a visit was good.  Jory, Jess and Olive were here for ten days....partly business for Jory and partly vacation.  Jess and his friend Adam went on a fishing trip to Wisconsin for three days...and had a really great time.

I can't tell you what a wonderful time Aunt Jenna, Uncle Joe and I had with little Olive.  Oh my gosh, she was such a hoot; and talked up a storm.  Repeating everything....I think she talks better than me.  She had us all laughing so much.  Sweet little personality and very loving.  At the end of ten days everyone went home...and left Aunt Jenna and I standing on my grass in tears.  Now when we do 'face-time' on Jenna's IPad, Olive wants to know where Uncle Joe and Aunt Julie are.  She just assumes that we're all back here together at Grandma's house.  Lord, we miss her.  Before you know it she'll be a 'big sister'...just six or seven weeks away.

Okay, this is starting to look 'novelesque,' so I'm going to wrap it up and include some pics from the wedding and the kids' visit....and a couple of Bella & Bastian with their new puppy "Boo."  Now they have two pugs....and a playmate for Boston.

 

Jory and Olive

Jory and Olive

 

The bride and groom...Stephanie (my neice) and Matt

Aunt Jenna and Olive

Sweet Olive

Mommy and Olive

 Olive...nature girl

 

Uncle Dan and Olive

 

Daddy, Olive and Mr. Bear

 

Olive and her monkey

Olive and Uncle John...mmm, that's good. 

 

At the park

Mommy and Olive

Mommy, Olive & Aunt Julie

 Chris, Bastian, Julie, Bella, Boston....and Boo

Bella and Boo

Bastian and Boo

I hope everyone has been well, enjoying life....and dealing with the horrendous heat that has hit so many of us.  See you soon dear friends.... Love, Joy  xo

Happy Mother's Day

Just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy Mother's Day.  I saw the following on a friend's Facebook page and thought it was touching and beautiful.  I think it originated here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/springintheair

 

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter:

 

"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t... interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter."

 

Happy Mother's Day!