These are too funny. My sweet blogging buddy, Darlene, sent these to me a while back...she sends me so many good things. I wanted to share them with you...thought we could use a few more laughs.... ~Joy xo
It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES...USE BIRTH CONTROL
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Don't Drink and Drive. You might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto: At least we're not Mississippi
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors."
"You know why a banana is like a politician?"
"He comes in and first he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten.." (okay there's a few good ones in the bunch.)
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
We have enough "youth." How about a fountain of "smart?"
Good ones.. here's one I heard yesterday.
Hug a lawyer then check you pocket to make sure you still have your wallet.
Posted by: janeywan | September 02, 2011 at 01:41 PM
Wonderful!
Posted by: chancy | September 02, 2011 at 02:02 PM
A fun bunch of oldies!!!!
Posted by: Kay Dennison | September 02, 2011 at 02:55 PM
Oh, Joy, thank you for passing along Darlene's goodies. They are all funny, but I particularly like "The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population."
and
"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors."
Posted by: Cop Car | September 02, 2011 at 04:45 PM
I love the NASCAR reference. Uniforms would make it easier.
Posted by: Tara R. | September 02, 2011 at 08:21 PM
Dear Joy ~~ Those were very funny, thanks for sharing them. I am so glad that Julie escaped damage from Hurricane Irene, But I am so sorry for her neighbors and it was great that she was able to help so many of
them. That's what friends do, isn't it? It will take time for the final
clean-up. These storms and hurricanes are getting to be so deadly these days. So many lives lost. Take care dear friend.
Much love, Merle.
Posted by: Merle | September 03, 2011 at 06:19 AM
I'm glad you liked my 'oldies' well enough to post them, Joy. Peace!!!
Posted by: Darlene | September 05, 2011 at 12:36 PM
Thank you for so many laughs on such a grey day.
Posted by: [email protected] | September 07, 2011 at 02:29 PM