The Joy of Six...: Chuckle, chuckle, giggle.....laugh

Children Write About the SEA

Can you imagine the teacher's face when reading these?

1.) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her fat ass. (Jule age 7)

Out of the mouths of babes???

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And finally.....What a great 'un'Welcome Mat...Oh come on...you know you could have used it some time or another..... ~ Hugs, Joy

Comments

I know you can imagine why (and for whom) I would want one of those. LOL

Posted by: Kay Dennison | July 12, 2008 at 07:40 PM

I will be laughing all night over this post, oh...sooooo funny!

Posted by: Darlene | July 12, 2008 at 09:08 PM

Joy - laughing and laughing - really out of the mouths of babes :) :) Although the door mat is also hilarious. Thanks always for the good humor and laughter. Hugs.

Posted by: Suzann | July 12, 2008 at 11:33 PM

Kids do say the darndest things, don't they?

I would love to have one of those door mats.

Posted by: Betty | July 12, 2008 at 11:37 PM

Just what I needed today! I have a ten-year-old, and at times it's difficult to hold the laughter in. I can picture her asking the mermaid question. Kids are too funny.

Posted by: Elsie | July 13, 2008 at 05:54 AM

Laughing out loud here and I needed a good chuckle.

Posted by: chancy | July 13, 2008 at 06:06 PM

Oh Joy I must get that mat.
That is hilarious!
Thanks

Bear((( )))

Posted by: BearNaked | July 13, 2008 at 06:45 PM

These are wonderful Joy! Methinks my favorite is #7 (eating beans) but #3 (incontinent) is a very close 2nd. Out of the mouths of babes is right ... though one wonders if someone older and cleverer thought of a few of these ;--)
Hope you had a lovely weekend.
Hugs and blessings,

Posted by: storyteller | July 13, 2008 at 08:00 PM

Joy,

Don't you just love kids and the things they say?

A boy was asked in Bible Study to write about the Israelites. He said:

" The Israelites had a very hard life because they were always being attacked by those mean Genitals."

Posted by: Nancy | July 14, 2008 at 09:32 AM

Dear Joy ~~ Those were so funny - kids say the darndest things. Thanks
for your comments, Olive had a very long and interesting life, but she didn't actually type and do her blob herself. Her friend did it all, and made videos of her singing and talking. Keep up the waking and get fit and well. Take great care, dear friend, Much love, Merle.

Posted by: Merle | July 16, 2008 at 06:55 AM

These are all absolutely precious. Kids, do, INDEED, say the darndest things. Bet every single lower grade elementary school teacher could wright a book!

Posted by: Val | July 16, 2008 at 10:14 AM

Oh crap...look how I spelled write. Duhhhhhhhh