Jory called me on Friday to tell me she was coming in town again....on business. It's another one of those one-day, fly in ~ have meetings ~ and fly out again, kind of deals. With the daily grind of her hectic BlogHer life, these visits have become more the norm than not.
I'm okay with it, and actually I'm thrilled she always makes sure she stays with me whenever she can. Even in the busiest times we try to find those moments when we can sit down and chat about things. I have to say....she does keep me in the loop about everything. Sometimes her calls are 'mental maintainence' reality checks. You know...the ones where you just have to talk things out or rant about something and get someone's input....hopefully from an objective ear. It's no secret that I always want to be that ear. So when her flight comes in somewhere around 8:00 PM on Tuesday...
Here's what I'd like to have happen....
We pick her up at the airport. If she's hungry and not too tired, we'll stop for a little bite to eat. Or, we'll go home and grab something there where she'll promptly set up her computer, because that's what she does....even in her sleep. Then, in my ideal plan, we'll take the measly two or three hours we have left before having to 'hit-the-hay' and just talk....and laugh....and talk. Then in the morning I'll make some coffee while she gets ready for a day of meetings in Chicago. We'll have coffee and she'll leisurely eat her usual bowl of cereal while we chat some more. I'll take her to the train, send her off with kisses and hugs and get a call from her from the airport after a successful day of meetings in ChiTown. I'll get a final call from her when she arrives home. With these one-day trips, that's about as good as I can expect.
Here's what will probably happen....
We pick her up at the airport. Upon getting home she immediately sets up her computer. (that never changes) Depending if she's too preoccupied with business calls and e-mails, she may or may not eat something. While she's rifling through her e-mails, I'll disperse bits and pieces of conversation her way, and she'll try to do the same. When she is no longer dispersing pieces MY way, I tell her I'm going upstairs to do some work and I'll see her when she's done. "Okay mom, I'll be up in a little while." (Those are the last words I hear from that child's mouth for WAYYYY longer than the little while she originally predicted. Although we have had some pretty strange conversations yelled between the first and second floors; we try to keep those to a minimum.)
Finally she shows up for bed, showers, etc. She plops herself on my bed to chat...even if she is tired; because damn it, she's home....and it's the thing to do. She may or may not request a back massage; but it makes no difference....she'll get one. Her lips may be silent, but her eyes tell another story. When neither one of us can stay awake any longer and my arms have stopped in mid-massage, we call it a night.
In the morning, if I'm not too out of it, I usually wake her before her alarm does. I go down and make coffee. She gets ready. We have our coffee (no matter what) and she scarfs down that bowl of cereal while she's on the computer and deep into her e-mails again. Then as she realizes she's running late....we scramble to make sure she has everything she came with, and we're out the door. I drop her off at the train....kisses and hugs....and I drive home wondering if she got enough sleep to get through her hectic day. I get the call from the airport telling me that everything went very well and she procedes to give me the lowdown. She promises to call me when she gets home later that night....and she does.
It's nice when we have a few more days to work with; even so....it's always worth it. But I'm always wondering..."Was it as good for you Jor?"
Well, a visit is a visit, and that's certainly good. I love when people that I love come to visit.
Cas
Maybe one of these days, she'll be able to visit with an extra day tagged on.
Posted by: cassie-b | March 09, 2008 at 06:31 PM
When my daughter comes home "to visit" she is always running here and there and when she leaves, we feel as though we haven't really seen her much at all....LOL...but at least she is here for a while, and that is what matters!
Posted by: kenju | March 09, 2008 at 06:48 PM
What an amazing kid you have. Oh, wait, revise that: What amazing KIDS you have!
Posted by: Suzz | March 09, 2008 at 07:52 PM
It is the way of adult children, but even so you hae a wonderful and light way of dealing wih the quick visit. N wonder your kids love you so much. You are an inspiration to all of us.
Posted by: Maria | March 10, 2008 at 11:04 AM
I misread your last sentence. i thought you said, 'Was it good for you, Jory?' I do wonder if this lifestyle is good. It wouldn't suit me but your daughter seems to enjoy and thrive on it. And if she can fit in an occasional mum-hug, she probably does even better. Enjoy your time together with your beautiful daughter!
Posted by: Liz | March 10, 2008 at 02:54 PM
Can you say, cold busted?
And this is why you called to confirm just what I had to do in Chicago?
So I got to reading your post late, for reasons you can already imagine. Reading this accurate portrayal is a bit scary, and all too true. Tell you what, Ma. we're watching American Idol--all of it! You hear me!
Your ridiculous daughter.
Posted by: Jory Des Jardins | March 10, 2008 at 10:43 PM
Ooh! If that won't guilt your daughter into visiting you properly, then I don't know what will. :-)
Either scenario is nice, but the first one is better.
Good one Joy!
Posted by: Peggy | March 11, 2008 at 03:53 AM
I'll book my ticket and plan to be there for supper and rubs--and of course the best conversation! And coffee waiting! All of it sounds like heaven to me.
Posted by: Julie Des Jardins | March 11, 2008 at 07:41 AM
Julie, you need rubs as much as Jory does. Dinner, coffee and conversation with BOTH of my girls...Nirvana! Book that ticket..even if Bella and Bastian are hanging on each of your legs.
Posted by: Joy DJ | March 11, 2008 at 09:01 AM
Ah ... you have such a way with words (and with your kids)! I always enjoy your 'stories about life as it is' ... and am grateful you share them here. How cool that your kids read and comment so we get their perspective (and reactions) too!
Hugs and blessings,
Posted by: storyteller | March 11, 2008 at 02:17 PM
One of life's ironies is that we raise our children to be happy, successful and independent and when they achieve that, we are disappointed that we don't get more time with them. Sigh There's gotta be a middle ground but I'll be damned if I can find it.
Posted by: Kay Dennison | March 11, 2008 at 08:47 PM
Joy,
It's not easy being the mom of grown-up kids...lol- and here I am faced with my grandkids grown-up too-and moving away from us! I mean-FAR away.
(My Brian is almost sure of a job in Chicago!!
Junie
Posted by: junie | March 12, 2008 at 10:29 AM
Hope you and Jory had a nice visit in the short time you had together. Always nice to hug our kids no matter what.
Posted by: Suzann | March 13, 2008 at 10:01 AM
Ain't she go-jas! You must be so, so proud, Joy! Just remember that she's at that paying-her-dues stage of life, so time is often in short supply.
Posted by: MaryB | March 13, 2008 at 12:13 PM