I came across a little piece that I really like and so thoroughly agree with. It somehow just speaks volumes...even in its brevity. Let me know what you think...maybe you've even seen it before.
And one for the road....as a little tribute to George Carlin, one of my favorite people of all time...may he rest in heavenly humor and poetic peace....
Want to see what I don't feel guilty eating these days?
You're lookin' at it!
...and that's why I hate physicals.
Just some things I thought were cool and wanted to share.......(Click on any of the pictures to make them bigger for easier viewing.)
How many horses do you see? Should be seven. (Click on picture to get a better view.)
Where does the middle column end?
Can you see four people in this picture?
(Definitely click on the picture above to make larger.)
I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
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Aspire to inspire before you expire.
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My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
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Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
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Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.
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The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
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God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
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I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
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Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
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Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or play with it,
pee on it and walk away.
And.....just a little more for the road...... Love, Joy 
A few days ago I made the fatal mistake of going into my garage to look for something. I try my best not to go into the garage because I'm faced with the constant reminder that I need to seriously clean out and organize that sad and neglected little place. I have a storage room in my basement in the very same shape.
As I stood there just looking at all the "stuff" overflowing from the shelves and corners of the room, this overwhelming urge to just pick something in need of throwing out rushed over me. I've had it before, but never get it enough; and I'm always disappointed when I don't get it and just leave without touching a single thing. I wind up with great guilt that once again I have done nothing about organizing that 'zoo'.
This time I got the spark. I grabbed an ancient computer monitor that my husband was keeping for posterity and walked it out next to the trash can. He wasn't there to stop me....bless his heavenly soul. Believe me, anyone out there thinking...."Oh no, what did she throw out?" No, no....I'm not totally insane. This thing was a relic; and there were more just like it sitting there. Bits and pieces from Fred Flintstone days....I swear. My husband saved all this stuff thinking...."You never know, maybe I'll need some parts from them some day." Yeah, if we were going BACK in time.
There it sat next to the trash bin. WOW! 'One small step for......'
It felt so good I went back for another old monitor, then another computer part, and another, and another. I took whatever computer parts I could reach and hauled them out next to the trash knowing full well that either the city would come and pick them up....or some person in their truck or car I see cruising down the alley all the time might take them away. You know the old saying...."One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Along with the computer parts I added a little rusty white table and a bizaar "Beanie Baby" stand that was my daughter, Jenna's. (and something she never used or wanted...hence why it was still in my garage and not in her apartment) What makes us keep these things?
It was a start. Admittedly it was all baby steps. Believe me, if you saw my garage....you would know it was just baby steps; but it felt good. I had visions of what could be next. I was already eyeing an old baby stroller sitting high on a shelf. There were still more computer parts on another shelf. I went back into the house to do some other things.
This was a different feeling than all the times I'd put out bags and bags of things for the Purle Heart Veterans, The Salvatian Army or Am Vets. For one thing, this was stuff none of these organizations would want or take. They have lists now....they don't just take anything. I recently gave the Salvation Army eight huge brown plastic bags filled with paperback books. Years and years of books my husband had sitting in our bookcases that needed to be passed on to.....SOMEONE. After going through them all with a couple of my kids to see what they wanted....Salvation Army got the nod.
After about 1 1/2 hours I got curious and went out to check by the trash. I couldn't believe it. Everything was gone! Everything but that idiot Beanie Baby stand. But a short time later....even that was gone. "One man's trash......"
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
It's income tax time! Did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells 'THEIRS'?
I saw this over at Average Jane's a while back....it's nice and easy...and quick, so I thought I'd do it. Join in if you feel like it.
You're Feeling: Mellow To Your Left: Banana
On Your Mind: Errands
Last Meal Included: Tuna
You Sometimes Find it Hard To: Risk The Weather: Springish
Something You Have a Collection of: Crystal
A Smell that Cheers You Up: Baby
A Smell that Can Ruin Your Mood: Smoke
How Long Since You Last Shaved: Yesterday
The Current State of Your Hair: Clean
The Largest Item On Your Desk/Workspace Right Now (besides computer): Lamp
Your Skill with Chopsticks: Good
Which Section You Head to First In the Bookstore: Horoscopes...and After That?: Children’s
Something You're Craving: Chocolate
Your General Thoughts On the Presidential Race: Exhausting
How Many Times You've Been Hospitalized this Year: None
A Favorite Place to Go for Quiet Time: Bedroom
You've Always Secretly Thought You'd Be a Good: Psychologist
Something that Freaks You Out a Little: Snakes
Something You've Eaten Too Much of Lately: Chocolate
You Have Never: Skydived
You Never Want To: Deteriorate
To my darling husband,
Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.
Fortunately I was not injured and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from the bank, and when I turned into the driveway, I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.
The garage door is slightly bent, but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.
I am very sorry, but I know, with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.
I am enclosing a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
XXX
P.S. Your girlfriend called.
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Johnny's mother looked out the window and noticed him 'playing church' with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.
She smiled and went about her work.
A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.
She called out, 'Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!'
Johnny looked up at her and said, 'He should have thought about that before he joined my church.'
Jory called me on Friday to tell me she was coming in town again....on business. It's another one of those one-day, fly in ~ have meetings ~ and fly out again, kind of deals. With the daily grind of her hectic BlogHer life, these visits have become more the norm than not.
I'm okay with it, and actually I'm thrilled she always makes sure she stays with me whenever she can. Even in the busiest times we try to find those moments when we can sit down and chat about things. I have to say....she does keep me in the loop about everything. Sometimes her calls are 'mental maintainence' reality checks. You know...the ones where you just have to talk things out or rant about something and get someone's input....hopefully from an objective ear. It's no secret that I always want to be that ear. So when her flight comes in somewhere around 8:00 PM on Tuesday...
Here's what I'd like to have happen....
We pick her up at the airport. If she's hungry and not too tired, we'll stop for a little bite to eat. Or, we'll go home and grab something there where she'll promptly set up her computer, because that's what she does....even in her sleep. Then, in my ideal plan, we'll take the measly two or three hours we have left before having to 'hit-the-hay' and just talk....and laugh....and talk. Then in the morning I'll make some coffee while she gets ready for a day of meetings in Chicago. We'll have coffee and she'll leisurely eat her usual bowl of cereal while we chat some more. I'll take her to the train, send her off with kisses and hugs and get a call from her from the airport after a successful day of meetings in ChiTown. I'll get a final call from her when she arrives home. With these one-day trips, that's about as good as I can expect.
Here's what will probably happen....
We pick her up at the airport. Upon getting home she immediately sets up her computer. (that never changes) Depending if she's too preoccupied with business calls and e-mails, she may or may not eat something. While she's rifling through her e-mails, I'll disperse bits and pieces of conversation her way, and she'll try to do the same. When she is no longer dispersing pieces MY way, I tell her I'm going upstairs to do some work and I'll see her when she's done. "Okay mom, I'll be up in a little while." (Those are the last words I hear from that child's mouth for WAYYYY longer than the little while she originally predicted. Although we have had some pretty strange conversations yelled between the first and second floors; we try to keep those to a minimum.)
Finally she shows up for bed, showers, etc. She plops herself on my bed to chat...even if she is tired; because damn it, she's home....and it's the thing to do. She may or may not request a back massage; but it makes no difference....she'll get one. Her lips may be silent, but her eyes tell another story. When neither one of us can stay awake any longer and my arms have stopped in mid-massage, we call it a night.
In the morning, if I'm not too out of it, I usually wake her before her alarm does. I go down and make coffee. She gets ready. We have our coffee (no matter what) and she scarfs down that bowl of cereal while she's on the computer and deep into her e-mails again. Then as she realizes she's running late....we scramble to make sure she has everything she came with, and we're out the door. I drop her off at the train....kisses and hugs....and I drive home wondering if she got enough sleep to get through her hectic day. I get the call from the airport telling me that everything went very well and she procedes to give me the lowdown. She promises to call me when she gets home later that night....and she does.
It's nice when we have a few more days to work with; even so....it's always worth it. But I'm always wondering..."Was it as good for you Jor?"
Yesterday my dad would have been 90 years old. I’ve gone through so many times in my life where I can do nothing but recall what it was like to have him by my side…even if it was for a short twenty-one years. My dad packed a lot of love in those twenty-one years…enough to fuel me for the rest of my life.
Then there are times when I can barely remember what he looked like, how he smelled, how he laughed, how he hugged me. As a kid, he was ‘the man of the hour’….every hour of my life. And when he was taken from me just six months before I was to be married, I’ve never felt so cheated in my life. How could it be that he wouldn’t share such a special day with me? How could I possibly revel in the joy of that day without him? What would life be like without my hero?
In the 40 years since my dad’s death I have raised four beautiful children…and somehow he was always there with me as I did. He taught by example the beauty of kindness, generosity, forgiveness, compassion, love, humor and selflessness. I made no conscious decision to live my life in my dad’s footsteps; but I found myself doing just that. His beliefs became mine. His intuitive goodness followed me through every day; in the decisions I made in the raising of my children and the part I wanted to play in their lives. In the way I treated others. He groomed me in ways he never knew and didn’t live long enough to appreciate.
Over the years, as my children have grown, I’ve never been able to adequately express to them how special their grandfather was. We never really talked that much about him and the kind of man he was. I guess I’d have to blame myself for that. Who else would know better than me? My kids have found out more about my dad through several posts I’ve written on my blog. “Mom, we didn’t know that about Grandpa. You never told us that.”
You so often live in the moment of your day...making all the ends meet; doing whatever it takes to fulfill what you're there to do. I wish now that I had sprinkled a little of my dad on my children every day as they were growing up….through stories, moments, feelings. Maybe it would have been like he was actually there to share in their growing up. Just as cheated as I’ve felt for them….I feel cheated for him too. How he would have loved those kids.
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