The Joy of Six...

Happy Birthday Bella Joy

Happy Birthday little red-headed lady;

delivered upon us those five years ago.

In wonder we’ve watched as you’ve grown and you’ve blossomed;

and told us your story of the child we know.

 

Of imaginary places and people who live there;

And game times created in a little one’s mind;

And storybooks read…more than anyone thought of;

And handmade business cards…..one of a kind.

 

Of crayons and coloring, and crafts and stickering…

‘Designs by Bella’ left everywhere, I think.

Of American Girl, Barbie and Princesses…

Her bedroom….a haven in purple and pink.

 

                                                                           Of soccer and pool-swimming and backyard running;

And laughing so hard at daddy’s chases.

Of loving her movies and shows like no other;

And rolling on the floor from grandma’s silly faces.

 

And lately what you say kinda blows us all away;

You’re ready to leave baby things behind.

If we look behind those big brown eyes, what will be the next surprise?

Grandma loves to think what she would find.

 

 

Happy Birthday my BIG GIRL…..Grandma can’t remember what life was like without you.  ~xo

Sweethearts Two

When you were little I couldn’t imagine that there could ever be anyone who could take better care of you than I could.  I couldn’t imagine that anyone could watch over you and keep you from harm’s way as well as me.  As you grew up and life took more and more moments of you away from me, I knew I had to have faith that you would make good decisions for yourselves that would keep you on a smart and safe path; or that you would choose others in your lives that would be wise enough to watch over you in a way that might reassure a slightly paranoid mom.  I needed to know that they would adore you for everything you had to offer, which was considerable. 

If they could love you with just a fraction of the love I felt from the first moment I touched all your fingers and toes and kissed your little bald heads, then I surely could be at peace for the rest of my days.  You have chosen well sweet girls.  Even before the ‘right’ ones came along in your lives, you had done well by yourselves.  Out of my reach and parted by far too many miles you both walked into womanhood more beautifully than I could ever have dreamed of.    I was proud of your choices, your decisions, and your values….and so terribly proud of the strong women you had become.  One thing became quite obvious…. you needed no protection from me any longer. 

     

It’s hard not to have you close by.  Sometimes when we talk on the phone I wish I could just pull you through the receiver for a little hug or two.  Our time together is precious.  You have a world of people who love you.  I will forever hold the record.

 

June 16th....

 

My sweet Gemini girls....beautiful ladies....

                      Always and ever,

                               Mom  ~xo~                                                                                                                                                                                     

Alaskan Cruise Update

 

Well, SOMEONE'S having fun.....

Notes from Joy

        I called my daughter Julie Saturday night to wish her a safe and happy Bon Voyage.  She, Chris, Bella and Bastian were leaving for an Alaskan cruise early Sunday morning along with her in-laws Val and Deric.  She was still packing like a crazy woman, but was really looking forward to this vacation, and had been for a long time.  Still, she had no delusions as to how much of a ‘vacation’ this trip was going to be for her.  Outside of not having to cook all the meals, things aren’t very different with two small kids ….she’s pretty much on call 24/7.  Even so, she was looking forward to the different atmosphere for a week and to really enjoying the cruise.  Now only if the weather would cooperate.  She had heard some late weather reports that were a little disheartening.  I’m looking forward to some great photos.  Val’s an avid picture-taker, and I know she won’t let me down.                                                                                                    

Staying in Julie’s beautiful home and having it all to herself for three days will be Jory, Julie’s sister.  On Tuesday she’ll be leaving for Spain on business for BlogHer for several days, but will return on the 7^th to stay with Julie again for another few days before attending a wedding back in LA along with hubby Jesse.  Jory loves that Julie moved to New Jersey (Short Hills actually).  She travels to New York several times a month from CA and gets to stay in that great house, have her own room and bath, visit and play with Bella and Bastian….and all that good stuff.  Yep, it works out great for Aunt Jory.  She called when she got to the house today.  “It’s a little weird not hearing the babes in the house mom.”  I kept thinking what fun we could be having if I were there with her.                                                                  

But back on the home front in the suburbs of Chicago we were having a beautiful day in the 70’s….sunny and perfect.  The Chicago Cubs are in first place and have the best record in baseball….presently.  They have been home, and they have been HOT.  The White Sox are also doing well.  Chicago sports fans are in a blissful state of nirvana and we’re riding the wave.   Being a true L O N G-time, long suffering Cubs fan I’ve learned to pace myself to survive.  It’s a long season.  Cripes, it’s only the beginning of June.  But, we ARE excited.                                               

Today my eldest daughter, Jen, and I ran to the store for a few things.  Stopping off at my house to drop things off before heading out again we noticed my son, Joe’s car parked out front.  He made an impromptu visit to watch the Cub’s game with me, which he often does....only I didn't know about it.  Seems he decided to come over from his graveyard shift at the local police department.  He stopped to pick up a couple of nice ‘healthy’ salads for dear 'ol mom from a new place in town (I guess everyone's on the 'Get Mom Healthy' bandwagon) along with something for himself….and just planned to chill and watch the game.  But without any sleep, now the challenge would be if he could stay awake long enough to even watch the game.  What was that boy thinking?  He’s done this before, and his track record hasn’t been good.                                                                                         

We made a deal.  We all decided that Jen and I would go out and finish the errands we needed to, and Joe would rest or sleep while we were gone; which is what we did.  When we were done, I dropped Jen off at her place.  To my amazement, Joe was still awake when I got home.  We watched the rest of the Cubs game; which they won…but I could see Joe was fading.  I told him to just go ahead and sleep while I went for my walk.  When I came back Joe was out cold.  I did some work on BlogHer, went on my exercise bike for a while, and went back to mess around on the computer….of course.  By that time almost four hours had gone by and Joe stumbled in all groggy….just like the sleepy little kid coming out of his bedroom so many years ago.  Does anything really ever change?                                                                    

And I, in my little ordinary everyday world, just keep taking notes.

Bella and Bastian....Snugglebunnies!

For the first time in her almost five years of existence, Bella is finding out what it's like to have to share her TV and video viewing time with someone else....and a little brother at that. 

"What?  What do you mean I gotta share?  You don't care, do you Bastian?"

Up until now Bastian could have cared less about watching movies or TV shows.  He was much too busy running around playing ball, or reading his books, or playing 'choo-choo,' or whatever else he could make up.  Bella had it made....and she didn't even know it.  He loved books and anything that resembled a ball....but most of all, he LOVED his big sister and anything and everything she did.  She has always been GOLDEN in his eyes. He imitates everything that she does...and everything that comes out of her mouth; which by the way is a considerable amount these days. Bella can make Bastian laugh without even trying.

These days Bastian is starting to like to watch some shows on TV.  He actually likes to SIT for a while and watch stuff like Dora and Elmo.  He's even been watching some movies with Bella lately.  Maybe this makes for some bonding moments.  What do 'ya think?

                                                                                                                            

                                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                            

                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                            

                                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                           

                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                           

                                                                                                                                  

And....they lived happily ever after....for now.   THE END.

Here’s To My Health….Oooo, ah, Ouch….

Me and my achy body came in from my walk around the neighborhood yesterday….my new ritual that I have recently constituted along with my new, healthier diet.  It’s not an automatic thing for me….never has been; but it’s the ‘NEW’ plan on my way to a healthier lifestyle.  Why?  Because my “OLD’ plan apparently hasn’t been cutting it…..albeit is a heck of a lot more fun.   However, according to my doctor, MY plan will start working against me if I don’t take some serious action and do something about it…..NOW.  Though nothing is life-threatening, he’s worried about the possibilities of things like Diabetes, heart disease, stroke and such….all related to my on-going battle to lose weight.  I already have some of the achy knees, hips and back stuff that comes with the territory of getting older.  It’s not like I haven’t heard those words before, and it’s not like I didn’t already know what he was going to tell me.  I’m just not crazy about being told, and I don’t give him much of a chance to lecture me since I make as few appearances to his office as possible…..you know; I’ve got to be feeling pretty shitty and willing to risk a lecture. As nice as he is, and as good a relationship as we have…I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.                                                                                                   

Unfortunately I was scheduled for one of those appointments…..I didn’t have a choice.  They were holding my prescriptions hostage and wouldn’t fill them until I came in for a complete physical.  Cripes, it had only been four years.  That didn’t seem so outrageous to me.  But my doctor knows me pretty well.  He wanted the whole battery of tests done.  I always feel like a car going in for a complete tune-up.  Heart…fine.  Hearing…fine.  Blood pressure….good. (Well fine for being on medicine.)  Mammogram….fine.  EKG…fine.  Lungs…fine.  Cholesterol….okay.  A slight elevation in my glucose count.  This is the main reason why I’m constituting the ‘NEW’ plan…..bummer.                                                                                                       

Hey, it is what it is.  I didn’t gain this weight overnight.  I’ve had a sweet tooth all my life.  I’ve loved bread and starches all my life.  What I don’t quite remember is:  When did I get so lazy?  I was always so naturally active.  As a kid I couldn’t sit still…..I was a tomboy.  As a teenager I was a cheerleader and into gymnastics and loved sports.  As a young mother I was constantly ‘on the go’ running after little ones.  That didn’t stop for years…well into their high school years really.  Maybe it happened when they went off to college and things slowed down for me.                                                                                                                      

It became a very different life in my late forties and fifties when there were really no more kids in the house and it was just my husband and I.  I worked some of those years, but things were definitely slowing down….and I must have been slowing down right along with them whether I knew it or not.  I was okay with that.  I think it was even my plan.  Then of course there are always those things you never plan for.                                                                                                                      

Death has a way of slowing you down like nothing else.  It can immobilize you if you’re not careful.  I was surprised at how well I thought I did after my husband, Joel, died 2 ½ years ago.  I did what I had to.  I handled whatever needed to be taken care of….almost like a checklist; and still tried to feel like I was existing in my normal day….or what could be normal for me at that point.  Then right on the heels of that, I got hit with my mother getting ill and her death.  Here’s how I remember my existence at that time….                                                                                    

I took care of paperwork and legal issues.  I blogged and read blogs.  I worked on BlogHer.  I cleaned some of Joel’s things out.  I saw family members.  I read blogs.  I worked on BlogHer.  I had things fixed in the house that Joel never got around to.  I’d drive out to see my mother and bring her what she needed.  I talked on the phone to my kids…a lot.  I played games on the computer.  I read  blogs. I blogged.  I e-mailed.  I reviewed blogs for BlogHer.  I met with my brother to discuss my mother. I had more things repaired around the house.  I met with a financial advisor, insurance agents and bank representatives.  I spent time with my kids.  I played and worked on the computer.  I had lunch with friends.  I blogged.  I answered e-mails.  I blogged.  I worked on BlogHer.  Along with my brother, I took care of the details of my mother’s death.  I finally flew out to see my new grandson, Bastian, two months late.  And I joyfully celebrated the marriage of my beautiful daughter, Jory.

                                                                                                          

Does anyone notice a pattern here?  Does anyone see one mention of exercise?  Well in all honesty, that wouldn’t be totally fair.  There have been periods in those 2 ½ years that I actually did exercise on a fairly regular basis on my stationary bike that my son, Joe, got for me.  My problem is consistency.  I’ve started using my bike again too.                                                                                                

I have to use the Double Whammy of walking and using my exercise bike to counteract all the hours I spend sitting in front of the computer hour after hour….day after day.  Now THIS is where I’m consistent!  And although my computer was a haven and a refuge for me at some very stressful times in my life, it is also what’s gotten me into such disastrous trouble.  I have NO guidelines when it comes to the computer….blogging…..BlogHer….e-mail…. computer games…..and everything surrounding the internet. I don’t know when to call it a day.  I go from one thing to the next to keep caught up.  By the time I’m done….it’s often into the wee hours of the morning, my ankles are swollen, and I fall into bed.  Hello?  What kind of exercise program is that?                                                                                                                    

Good news….my fingers are damn skinny.  

Moms in My Life....and On My Mind

Mother's Day is right around the corner....

My 91-year-old mother-in-law has always been, and still is, my shining example of motherhood.  At this point, I think she's everyone's example.  Strong of heart, soul, and mind...Nana is a constant wonder.  Up until the last few years Nana had more energy than any of us; and I can tell in conversations that she's frustrated with having to slow down.  She loves to play bridge on occasion, and probably remembers more than I do about it.  She still tries to use the computer...e-mail mostly, and enjoys keeping updated with everyone.  She has taught our family so many valuable lessons over the years...and continues to do so as the beautiful matriarch of our family.

My daughter, Julie, is the busy mother of two terrific kids....Bella and Bastian.  I've written about them numerous times, as many of you know.  Julie is also a Women's History professor at a college in downtown New York.  She is in the process of writing a second book and is working on several other projects.  Her husband, Chris, has his own insanely busy schedule as a patent lawyer for a law firm in New York.  To say her lifestyle is hectic would be an understatement.  Like many young couples today, Julie and Chris are trying to balance it all...trying to make it work.  There are days when Julie's not so sure she's doing such a good job 'balancing.'  I DISAGREE!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               I think she and Chris are doing an AMAZING job.  I mean that.  I tell her all the time how proud I am of the job she's doing...and that I think she's a terrific mom.  I can see the sacrifices...who comes first....and what has to be done.  Sometimes hard decisions have to be made...but they are made...and those kids are always first and foremost.  Both she and Chris know what's important and never misplace their priorities.  These are busy, growing years.....fun years.....years you want to appreciate and enjoy.  I tell her that too; but thank God.....I think she already knows that.  She's a good mom.....a really good mom. And I wonder if she would ever believe that I am just as proud of the job she's doing as a mom as I am of the many credentials she has earned in her professional life....maybe even more so.

My sister-in-law, Mary, has been one of my best friends forever.  I knew as soon as my brother brought her through our front door some 40+ years ago that she was going to be someone special.  She hasn't changed at all over the years. Full of energy....funny, creative, loving, thoughtful, compassionate, patient, generous, caring, hard-working...40 years of all those same wonderful qualities. How lucky am I that my one and only brother chose such a beautiful person for his lifemate.  How lucky are we all?  I feel especially fortunate that my children have had Mary as their Aunt.  She's just always been there for them....like a second mom.  Mary's planning a wedding for this fall.  My niece, Heather, will be getting married...and we all will be going to Wisconsin for the big day.  With all the weddings Mary has happily attended...it will finally be her turn to be the proud mother of the bride.

It's almost two years ago since my mom passed away.  Her last Mother's Day was a sad one....languishing in a place that she hated and prayed she'd never-ever have to spend her final days in.  It was the saddest Mother's Day I can remember.  I hope all of our moms who are no longer with us are walking in fields of flowers, basking in beauty as far as the eye can see......knowing only love...pure joy.....and peace. 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the lovely ladies out there.....

   

Blessings from the Birthday Boy

Tomorrow is your birthday

my precious Pisces man.

My existence wrapped in blessings

from the day your life began.                                                                                 

How could I have imagined

that your soul would be so true

with love and generosity

just oozing out of you?                                                                                           

What was it that I looked for

in that little boy so small;

that hasn't come back twofold

by the blessings of it all?                                                                                        

Happy Birthday my sweet baby boy,

from a mother's heart so true;

No words I know are written

of the love I have for you. 

                         ~ Mom                                                                                    

Just some of the things Joe has blessed me with....

~ Countless hours of arms around my neck and kisses on cheeks....then and now.

~ Laughter, laughter, laughter....even if I'm not sure I want it....or need it.

~ Hours upon hours of cheering at little league baseball games...rain or shine.

~ A strong shoulder and unwavering devotion when it is most needed.

~ My first brand new car since I was a newlywed.

~ Some great DVD series....and his company watching them.

~ Way too many moments of 'rolling-on-the-floor-from-disgusting-comments' than I'd like to admit.

~ His generous gifts....both personal and material.

~ His long arms for out-of-reach projects.

~ His love and respect of people.

~ His ability to remind me of my dad.

~ His love of tradition.

~ His trivial pursuit knowledge...especially in sports.

~ His calming manner.

~ His love and friendship....and the on-going gift of HIM.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!!!    

Notes from Joy

Update on The Jory Express.....Well, she was true to her word in her one-day visit.  She hardly broke open her computer.  Hardly, well not until the morning when she had to catch up on some e-mails and business calls.  We had a wonderful relaxed evening starting with dinner out (she treated), lots of great conversation, watched American Idol (which I taped), and ending in a combination of conversation and Mom's soothing arm rubs until we both groggily conceded that it was time for bed.  All in all, we made the most out of the one evening that was given to us. 

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Jenna and I are taking Joe out for his birthday dinner tomorrow night....that's if he doesn't get called into work (he's on call).  We have no idea where we're going yet;  but told Joe to think about where he wants to go.....no word yet. (He's not very picky about these things.) Even though Joe's birthday isn't until Wednesday the 19th, work schedules get in the way of celebrating on his actual birthday.  It's hard to believe my baby is going to be 32 years old.  He still seems like a kid to me....and definitely has a "kid-at-heart" personality.  I'm hoping to post something about his birthday in a couple of days.

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My cousin, Donna, called me today.  Although that may not be earth-shattering news in itself, it was the first time we've actually talked to each other (outside of e-mails) in probably more than 30 years.  Many laughs, some tears....and about two hours later, we finally said our goodbyes with intentions of getting together for lunch or something.  WOW...she sounded so good, and not so different than I remembered.  We covered a lot of ground in those two hours; but have a lot more to say. 

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Jenna and I still haven't made our appointment with H & R Block to get our taxes done.  She plans to call soon.  We've gone together for the past couple of years, and I'm always so relieved to get it done.  Since this task has landed in my lap since Joel died, I'm always anxious until it's over.  Why is that?  Do you all feel the same way?

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Bastian talked on the phone with me yesterday; with a little prompting from Julie.  He's repeating everything you ask him to say and starting to say a lot on his own now. "Hi Gamma. I lu yoo."  Oh be still my heart. Bella was MUCH too busy to take a few seconds out of her hectic schedule to talk to Grandma.  I'm always amused at how much she dislikes talking on the phone, but will chat forever with me if I'm sitting in front of her.  That child is a hoot!

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I'm almost afraid to say this, but.......I SEE SPRING!  Oh God, I hope I haven't cursed us.  But...you can't blame me for being a little excited.  We've been waiting sooo long for signs....any signs.  I know this could all blow up in my face tomorrow, but here are the signs:

~All the snow has melted....at least in MY yard.  I HAVE GRASS!

~It's been in the 50's for the past two or three days.  It feels very balmy..almost sunbathing weather....okay, maybe I went too far.

~I've actually seen some buds and a few blossoms around.

~Dudes are riding around with their car tops down.

~The sun has decided to come out and play and be our friend again.

If in any way I have just put a hex on us and Mother Nature decides to get even with plummeting temperatures and anything looking remotely like white fluffy stuff, I will be blogging my next post from the 'psych ward' of the nearest hospital.

Have a GREAT weekend everyone.......  Hugs....

The Jory Express

Jory called me on Friday to tell me she was coming in town again....on business.  It's another one of those one-day, fly in ~ have meetings ~ and fly out again, kind of deals.  With the daily grind of her hectic BlogHer life, these visits have become more the norm than not.

I'm okay with it, and actually I'm thrilled she always makes sure she stays with me whenever she can.  Even in the busiest times we try to find those moments when we can sit down and chat about things.  I have to say....she does keep me in the loop about everything. Sometimes her calls are 'mental maintainence' reality checks.  You know...the ones where you just have to talk things out or rant about something and get someone's input....hopefully from an objective ear.  It's no secret that I always want to be that ear. So when her flight comes in somewhere around 8:00 PM on Tuesday...

Here's what I'd like to have happen....

We pick her up at the airport.  If she's hungry and not too tired, we'll stop for a little bite to eat.  Or, we'll go home and grab something there where she'll promptly set up her computer, because that's what she does....even in her sleep.  Then, in my ideal plan, we'll take the measly two or three hours we have left before having to 'hit-the-hay' and just talk....and laugh....and talk.  Then in the morning I'll make some coffee while she gets ready for a day of meetings in Chicago.  We'll have coffee and she'll leisurely eat her usual bowl of cereal while we chat some more.  I'll take her to the train, send her off with kisses and hugs and get a call from her from the airport after a successful day of meetings in ChiTown.  I'll get a final call from her when she arrives home.  With these one-day trips, that's about as good as I can expect.

Here's what will probably happen....

We pick her up at the airport.  Upon getting home she immediately sets up her computer. (that never changes)  Depending if she's too preoccupied with business calls and e-mails, she may or may not eat something.  While she's rifling through her e-mails, I'll disperse bits and pieces of conversation her way, and she'll try to do the same.  When she is no longer dispersing pieces MY way, I tell her I'm going upstairs to do some work and I'll see her when she's done. "Okay mom, I'll be up in a little while." (Those are the last words I hear from that child's mouth for WAYYYY longer than the little while she originally predicted.  Although we have had some pretty strange conversations yelled between the first and second floors; we try to keep those to a minimum.)

Finally she shows up for bed, showers, etc.  She plops herself on my bed to chat...even if she is tired; because damn it, she's home....and it's the thing to do.  She may or may not request a back massage; but it makes no difference....she'll get one.  Her lips may be silent, but her eyes tell another story.  When neither one of us can stay awake any longer and my arms have stopped in mid-massage, we call it a night.

In the morning, if I'm not too out of it, I usually wake her before her alarm does.  I go down and make coffee.  She gets ready.  We have our coffee (no matter what) and she scarfs down that bowl of cereal while she's on the computer and deep into her e-mails again.  Then as she realizes she's running late....we scramble to make sure she has everything she came with, and we're out the door.  I drop her off at the train....kisses and hugs....and I drive home wondering if she got enough sleep to get through her hectic day.  I get the call from the airport telling me that everything went very well and she procedes to give me the lowdown.  She promises to call me when she gets home later that night....and she does.

It's nice when we have a few more days to work with; even so....it's always worth it.  But I'm always wondering..."Was it as good for you Jor?"