A Little Humor Please....

 

WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.

 

I have kleptomania; but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

 

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

 

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

 

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. 
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

 

 

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

 

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

 

 

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

 

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

 

 

In Memoriam... 
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey",died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

 

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

 

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

 

Red meat is not bad for you. 
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

 

 

I am having an out-of-money experience.

 

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

 

           'Gimme Five'...I hope you're all having a good week...

Comments

[Maria from Silver Fox]

So good to have posts like this that make me smile. This one certainly is capable of raising spirits and I lift my spirits in a toast to wit.

[Cop Car]

Usually, I just must share your funny postings with Hunky Husband. He liked the one about the bar tender. He has worked (part time) as a bar tender and he attended one year of pharmacy school prior to switching into engineering (his dad was a pharmacist.) It is sobering to think that, had HH remained in pharmacy school, there are long, long odds that we would never have met. How happy I am that he switched into engineering!

[joared]

"My short term memory is shorter than it used to be."

Furthermore, pobody is nerfect!

Did I mention.....what was it about my memory? It'll come to me.

[Merle]

Dear Joy ~~ Some really good ones there - thanks for sharing. I think you are right about a chair we spend a lot of time in. Glad your son got one for you and mine is going well. Glad your back is improving with the chiropractor.
Take great care dear friend,, Love, Merle.

[Nancy]

Joy,

How about the two batteries that walked into a bar. The bartender said ,"Ok I'll serve you... BUT DON'T START ANYTHING."

[Tara R.]

Thanks for the laughs! The short-term memory one is me exactly.

[Peter]

Hey! the title said " a little humor" that was a LOT!!!!!

[EngineerofKnowledge]

Hello Joy,
I happened to come accross your site today by chance and I like what I have read. I have one to pass on also.

"What is the value of being narcissistic…….if you don’t learn to love your self first?"

[kenju]

I so needed those jokes today!!

[cassieb1@gmail.com]

Thank you for all the smiles. I hope things are going well for you.