I have kleptomania; but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey",died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Red meat is not bad for you.
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
I am having an out-of-money experience.
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.