The Joy of Six...

A Little Humor Please....

 

WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY.

 

I have kleptomania; but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

 

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

 

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

 

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. 
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

 

 

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

 

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

 

 

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

 

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

 

 

In Memoriam... 
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey",died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

 

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

 

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

 

Red meat is not bad for you. 
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

 

 

I am having an out-of-money experience.

 

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

 

           'Gimme Five'...I hope you're all having a good week...

Snow Kidding?

I'm waiting!!!!

Everyone says we were suppose to get a bunch of snow today....or maybe tonight.  My brother who lives in Wisconsin, and keeps an eye on our weather conditions, told me he heard it too.  He hates snow and winter.  Someone please tell me why he lives in frigid, blizzard-stricken Wisconsin.  It makes no sense.  But I digress....

After talking with my good friend earlier today who lived here in the midwest all of her life...and now resides in Arkansas; I was told she heard about the snow we're suppose to be getting from watching tv.  Where the heck have I been?  I told her it's been cold, gloomy and dark....but not a hint of snow did I see.

Ten minutes after hanging up with her....I saw the most humongous snow flakes falling from the sky that I can remember in many years.  They were huge...and almost looked fake.  But they fell gently to the ground and melted right away.  This must have gone on for about half an hour or so.  Nothing accumulated.  Then just as quickly as those giant flakes fell....it turned into a light, normal-sized flow.  Lasted maybe another half hour....then NOTHING.  The ground was wet, but you'd never know it was from any snow.  It looked like we had a little rain shower.  How crazy was that?  

My daughter tells me we may get some snow tonight.  Thanks...but no thanks.  I'm doing very well without that extra added headache.  I think we're all getting a little spoiled this winter....and we deserve it.

My blogging pal, Tee...who lives in Texas, sent me some fun cartoons.....so, I'm sharing.  There were a few more, but for some reason I was unable to transfer them to my post....sorry.  Thanks Tee...(click on pics to enlarge)

A Texas Limo...

 

 

 

 Have a great snow-less day...and weekend everyone!  ~Joy  xo

 

 *Update....we got that snow!  It came during the night...and is still falling.  Things look pretty wet and slushy out there. #%$*!&%*#$@!!!

Jots from Joy

Jen and I went and had our taxes done today.  She left with the prospect of being a little richer in the near future…I left knowing I’ll be a little poorer.  So what’s new?  I don’t know if it was some kind of fluke, but last year I actually got a couple of bucks back from the state and had to pay just a small amount to the Feds.  I still don’t entirely understand what the big difference was this year; but I had to pay a fair amount more for each.  It’s not like our tax lady, Mary, wasn’t looking for every possible break for both of us….hey, it is what it is.  With that said, I’m always so glad to get them out of the way.  Since Joel died over six years ago, it’s a different stress I feel around tax time now.  I’m pretty organized when it comes to having everything ready; but then again, I was when Joel was around.  My stress always came from waiting for Joel to get serious about actually doing our taxes in time.  He could be a great procrastinator, which drove me crazy.  It all basically came down to him hating to part with our money and wanting to wait until the last minute to do so.  Ugh, at least now I would have no one to blame but myself.  But, I know me….I’ll NEVER be late filing my taxes….I’m too anal.

 

I’m still in a state of shock over the weather we’ve been having her in the Midwest.  I guess everyone is feeling the same way.  Sunny and in the 40’s is just not what we ‘winter warriors’ have been conditioned to in January and February.  Shhhh....I’m not going to say this too loud, but I’m terrified that we’re going to get hit hard one of these days with one of those disasterous storms that we normally experience at this time, and it will knock us all off of the clouds we’ve been floating on.  Shhhh....you never heard me say that.

 

Looks like the trips to the chiropractor have done me some good so far….at least in my neck area.  Ha, I didn’t even go there for any neck issues, because I didn’t really know I had any; but that's not what the x-rays said.  Apparently I have made good progress with my range of motion in my neck and shoulders from the adjustments so far.  I’m thrilled that there's progress somewhere.  Apparently my sore lower back, pinched nerve and surrounding tenderness in a couple of areas will take a little longer since the degeneration in a couple of the discs there is somewhat worse than in my neck.  I have a feeling this will take a little longer than originally planned.  Well, I like the doctors, the place, and the relaxed atmosphere; and it’s not like I don’t have the time.  I remind myself….patience is a virtue….

 Happy, happy weekend everyone….Cheers!  ~xo

Happy Valentine's Day!

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?  ~Lily Tomlin

Love is sharing your popcorn.  ~Charles Schultz

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.  ~Judith Viorst

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.  ~Helen Gurley Brown

Gravitation can't be held responsible for people falling in love.  ~Albert Einstein

When you're in love, it's the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.  ~Richard Lewis

Romantic love is mental illness.  But it's a pleasurable one.  ~Fran Lebowitz

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth!  ~Chico Marx

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.  I haven't had time for tobacco ever since.  ~Arturo Toscanini

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?      ~Jean Illsley Clarke

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.  ~Anonymous

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.  ~Judith Viorst

Love doesn't make the world go round.  Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.  ~Franklin P. Jones

Lots of love to you all.... ~Joy  xo

 

Spine-tingling....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, I’m going to a chiropractor now.  I have been for about a week.  It only took me over a year and a half of ridiculous pain and discomfort to finally make the move.  You can go just so long with your heating pad and Aleve as your BFF’s.  Now it looks like Dr. Stevens will be my best friend three times a week for the next couple of months.  To be fair, there were times when I wasn’t feeling too horribly….you know, just bad, but not ‘staying in bed with the covers over my head’ bad.  I always seemed to justify my procrastination….insurance costs, things came up, holidays, etc.   Maybe I needed something else to fall into place besides enduring the pain to push me into taking action...like the fact that I started on Medicare last month; though I hardly expected to take advantage of it quite this soon.  It’s amazing what one can endure to get out of going to doctors of any kind and the ensuing barrage of appointments it can all lead to.

 

I haven’t been so lucky lately when it comes to having to go through some of those medical tests and such.  I guess it catches up to us all some time or another.  I’m like my dad…bless his soul.  I’m not the best preventative person around, and usually wind up at the doctor’s office if something doesn’t feel right.  Even then, I take my time before actually going.  I think I made this my modus operandi all my life because my mom always seemed to be at one doctor or another when I was growing up….and she got worse as she got older.  I shouldn’t say ‘worse’ because maybe she was doing the right thing for herself.  I just always thought she went overboard when it came to doctors….not at all what I intended to do as an adult.  Best laid plans….

 

I pretty much followed the course of my plan, veering off every so often; but getting right back on track.  Surprisingly, I have managed to stay pretty healthy….all things considered.  Lately however, my plan seems to have a mind of its own.  I’ve been trying to take things as they come without getting too bent out of shape; but I have to admit that these latest issues with my back have stressed me out more than they ever use to.  Couldn’t be that I have gobs more time on my hands and not enough of ‘other things’ to keep me busy…stopping me from letting some of this stuff roll off my back as I use to….could it?  It helps when you are your own psychiatrist, doesn’t it?

 

Getting back to MY BACK….

Seems I’ve got a moderate amount of degeneration going on; which is no surprise really.  Some showed up in my last CAT scan, and the doctor said it’s normal for people as they get older.  I guess NORMAL is relative; and depends on a lot of factors surrounding each person and their lifestyle.  I’m told my situation can be fixed; or at the very least slowed down.  I have a couple of discs in my neck and at the bottom of my spine that are compressed with little cushioning between them.  So the doctor is adjusting those vertebrae each time in the hopes that when the cushioning between them is built back up, much of my back problems will subside.  For someone who has never really had back problems until now, I’m hoping right along with Doctor Stevens….that he’s right.  It will be interesting to see if ALL of my niggly problems get taken care of.  My achy back has gone on to produce a pinched nerve in my right leg and some very tender and sore areas at the base of my butt.  So sitting too long at the computer…or anywhere else tends to aggravate that area….and going up and down stairs KILLS.

Time will tell if it all will be healed….I have to have faith that even delinquent ‘ol me can be saved.  Can I hear an AMEN?   ~Joy xo

 

               

And She Replied....

I told you I'd be back to give us gals equal time.  Never let it be said we ladies don't have our share of witty things to say about you men.  No comments from the 'peanut gallery' guys....and remember to laugh...fair is fair.

 

"THE PROBLEM WITH WOMEN IS THAT THEY GET ALL WORRIED AND CRAZY ABOUT NOTHING AND THEN THEY MARRY HIM." ~CHER

"IF MEN CAN RUN THE WORLD, WHY CAN'T THEY STOP WEARING NECKTIES? "HOW INTELLIGENT IS IT TO START THE DAY BY TYING A NOOSE AROUND YOUR NECK?"   ~LINDA ELLERBEE

"I THINK...THEREFORE I'M SINGLE."         ~LIZ WINSTON



"I NEVER MARRIED BECAUSE THERE WAS NO NEED. I HAVE THREE PETS AT HOME WHICH ANSWER THE SAME PURPOSE AS A HUSBAND. I HAVE A DOG WHICH GROWLS EVERY MORNING, A PARROT WHICH SWEARS ALL AFTERNOON AND A CAT THAT COMES HOME LATE AT NIGHT."      ~MARIE CORELLI 

The Three Wise Women

Three wise women would have...
Asked directions
Arrived on time
Helped deliver the baby
Cleaned the stable
Made a casserole
Brought practical gifts
And there would be peace on Earth
~Unknown 

 

"WHATEVER WOMEN DO, THEY MUST DO TWICE AS WELL AS MEN TO BE "HALF AS GOOD. LUCKILY, THIS IS NOT DIFFICULT."      ~CHARLOTTE WHITTON

"THE BEST WAY TO GET MOST HUSBANDS TO DO SOMETHING IS TO SUGGEST THAT PERHAPS THEY'RE TOO OLD TO DO IT."       ~ ANN BANCROFT

"MEN ARE LIKE A FINE WINE. THEY ALL START OUT LIKE GRAPES, AND IT'S OUR JOB TO STOMP ON THEM AND KEEP THEM IN THE DARK UNTIL THEY MATURE INTO SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH."  ~AUTHOR UNNAMED

"I THINK MEN WHO HAVE PIERCED EARS ARE BETTER PREPARED FOR MARRIAGE. THEY'VE EXPERIENCED PAIN AND BOUGHT JEWELRY."   ~RITA RUDNER

"PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ASKING COUPLES WHOSE MARRIAGES HAVE ENDURED AT LEAST A QUARTER OF A CENTURY FOR THEIR SECRET FOR SUCCESS. ACTUALLY, IT IS NO SECRET AT ALL. I AM A FORGIVING WOMAN. LONG AGO, I FORGAVE MY HUSBAND FOR NOT BEING PAUL NEWMAN."   ~ERMA BOMBECK

A Woman's Perfect Breakfast

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.  ~Unknown

 

In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.  ~Margaret Thatcher

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.  ~Gloria Steinem

 

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.  ~Helen Rowland

 

"MY MOTHER BURIED THREE HUSBANDS, AND TWO OF THEM WERE JUST NAPPING."   ~RITA RUDNER