The Joy of Six...

What Did He Say?

Okay ladies...exercise your funny bone and keep your humor in tact when you read these.  They are amusing....haha.  I'm hoping to post a rebuttal for us women in the very near future.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  ~David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.  ~Sacha Guitry


 
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.  ~Socrates

 

Women inspire us to great things, and then prevent us from achieving them.
~Anonymous

 

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"   ~Dumas


 
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. ~Sigmund Freud


 
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'  ~Anonymous

 

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.   It's called marriage.'  ~Sam Kinison

 

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'   ~James Holt McGavra

 

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~Patrick Murra


 
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....  ~Nash


 
You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.     ~Anonymous

 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.  ~Henny Youngman

 

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.              ~Rodney Dangerfield

 

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.  They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' ~Anonymous

 

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
~Anonymous

(Thanks to my cousin, Pat, for sending these.  Now I have to go find some juicy tidbits for us ladies.)  Have a good week everyone...  ~Joy  xo 

A little of this and that...

I hope 2012 gets better than it started out for me.  Besides getting a year older and achier and going through the last couple of weeks feeling kind of yucky and blah, January has just been oodles of fun so far.  Okay, my birthday was nice...even though I was in the middle of  that 'blah' period....that seems to be lingering here and there.  All the snow we got over last weekend has melted substantially...yay!  I still have to find and thank the incredibly kind and thoughtful neighbor that shoveled my entire walkway early Saturday morning while I was sleeping.  I didn't hear a thing....which is pretty unusual for me.  I'm afraid to listen to any weather reports that might say we could get more....DENIAL!  As much as I love seeing snow-covered trees, etc...noone has figured out a way to experience the beauty of it without the nuisance and danger of trying to get around in it.  I think I'm becoming an old grump.

Just watched the President give the State of the Union address....wasn't sure I even wanted to watch it this time around; but I'm glad I did; I'm always glad I do.  I don't know why I always seem to watch how many times John Boehner (Speaker of the House) does or doesn't applaud when the President speaks.  He always looks mad... like he's pissed to even be there.  That man kind of irks me in general.

Thought I'd share these with you....

How Things Have Changed (Click on image to enlarge.)

 

 

 

Some of those are actually a little disturbing to me because they're so frighteningly true.  I hope you're all having a good week.  Stay well....and take care.  ~Joy xo

'There's No Crying in Poker...'

Sorry if I've been a little remiss in my posting lately; since last Thursday I've been a 'little off.'  Some would say....'a little?'  I'm still not feeling myself, but I'm realizing more and more as I get older that I really don't know what 'myself' is anymore.  If I were to guess, I think I might be going through another one of my kidney stone episodes....without the actual appearance of a kidney stone.  I do have two or three of the little guys lurking around according to my last CAT scan.  I've had similar episodes before and don't know why they STILL baffle me.  I always get confused trying to decipher what I'm actually feeling.  Maybe it's because these matters are not always consistent even in the same victimized body.

Anyhoooo, I refused to let it ruin my birthday celebration with Jen, Dan and Joe.  Poker night was fun...and I actually was feeling pretty 'normal' that day.  Yeah, I lost $3.00....but I made up for it in laughter.  No one ever loses very much money in our little games....and none of us would really care if we did.  It's all about the fun of spending time together 'raking each other over the coals' that we most look forward to.  I'd say I'm the major 'rakee.'  It seems I'm just too hilarious for words and my kids can't wait to jab me to see what reaction they get.  I say, 'bring it on you nasty, monster children...I can take whatever you throw at me.'

Had a really nice birthday in general...lots of calls, cards, e-mails and some presents from those very same terrible children.  I even had a surprise visit from Denise and TW on Saturday....with a little box from the bakery to help celebrate the day.  I sliced that little treat up after dinner for the four of us....YUM.  Thank you ladies.

We did some 'face time' too...calling Bella, Bastian and Liv from Jenna's new IPad.  Now that was fun.  I loved to be able to actually see the kids...and vice versa....rather than only hearing them.

Watched a lot of football on Sat. and Sun. too.  What in the world happened to the Packers?  I guess those couple of weeks off after their last game of the season may have done them more harm than good.  My brother, who lives in Wisconsin and is a Packer-Backer....because it's the law if you live there, must be in a deep depression along with the rest of the state.  Sorry Ken.

Have a good week everyone.... ~Joy xo

Shakespeare wrote about the 7 ages of man...Now Maxine uses the number 7 to refer to another facet of our being human.....(thanks to my cousin Donna for this)

Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time, your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'Screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * This means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon, and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.      * This is when you cannot stand your wife any more.  She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.

 

Happy Birthday...'Welcome to the party' Medicare

                                                             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         I started Medicare on the first day of the year....I guess I'm 'officially' old.  Even though my mind and spirit kept telling me differently...my body was not going along for the ride.  Yep, Medicare and Me....BFF here on out.

Hey, it is what it is....imperfections and all.  One thing I know.... dear 'ol Medicare is going to be a lot kinder to me and my pocketbook.  I won't miss those monthly horrendous insurance premiums.  I won't miss that ridiculous yearly deductible.  I won't miss seeing red every time I had to watch my $$$ fly out the window and into thin air.  Talk about painful.  Now I'll only have to deal with about a third of the pain....I say that's bad enough.

I officially turn 65 on January 14th.  Grateful that I made it this far with some semblance of sanity...and hopeful to continue the journey with my sense of humor in tact.  Ideally, when my time DOES come, I'd like the last thing that comes sputtering from my mouth to be hysterically funny.  My kids would appreciate that.

Speaking of birthdays....

My amazing and beautiful mother-in-law will be celebrating her 95th in a few days....the 11th.  She's thirty years older than me....and what a special person she is....in every way.  'Nana,' as we lovingly call her, has been through more than her share of life's challenges....and continues to inspire us all.  She's just a little bitty thing, but she's feisty and resilient....with a strength and spirit that is remarkable.  Happy Birthday Nana....I love you so much.

Also celebrating a birthday on the 11th is my son-in-law, Jesse.  Oodles of love to a terrific guy and member of our family....and without a doubt one of the best dads a kid could ever be blessed with.  Hope he does something special to celebrate....he deserves it.  Happy Birthday Jess...

As for me....looks like the kids and I will be having a dinner and poker night.  My choice.   Well, you know, when you get to be 'up there'....blah, blah, blah.    Have a wonderful weekend everyone....

~Joy  xo 

   

Places I've been…

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.  Apparently, you can't go alone.  You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito.  I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane.  They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.  I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt.  That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense!  It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart!  At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in.  It's an age thing.

"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching."