I told you I'd be back to give us gals equal time. Never let it be said we ladies don't have our share of witty things to say about you men. No comments from the 'peanut gallery' guys....and remember to laugh...fair is fair.
"THE PROBLEM WITH WOMEN IS THAT THEY GET ALL WORRIED AND CRAZY ABOUT NOTHING AND THEN THEY MARRY HIM." ~CHER
"IF MEN CAN RUN THE WORLD, WHY CAN'T THEY STOP WEARING NECKTIES? "HOW INTELLIGENT IS IT TO START THE DAY BY TYING A NOOSE AROUND YOUR NECK?" ~LINDA ELLERBEE
"I THINK...THEREFORE I'M SINGLE." ~LIZ WINSTON
"I NEVER MARRIED BECAUSE THERE WAS NO NEED. I HAVE THREE PETS AT HOME WHICH ANSWER THE SAME PURPOSE AS A HUSBAND. I HAVE A DOG WHICH GROWLS EVERY MORNING, A PARROT WHICH SWEARS ALL AFTERNOON AND A CAT THAT COMES HOME LATE AT NIGHT." ~MARIE CORELLI
The Three Wise Women
Three wise women would have...
Asked directions
Arrived on time
Helped deliver the baby
Cleaned the stable
Made a casserole
Brought practical gifts
And there would be peace on Earth
~Unknown
"WHATEVER WOMEN DO, THEY MUST DO TWICE AS WELL AS MEN TO BE "HALF AS GOOD. LUCKILY, THIS IS NOT DIFFICULT." ~CHARLOTTE WHITTON
"THE BEST WAY TO GET MOST HUSBANDS TO DO SOMETHING IS TO SUGGEST THAT PERHAPS THEY'RE TOO OLD TO DO IT." ~ ANN BANCROFT
"MEN ARE LIKE A FINE WINE. THEY ALL START OUT LIKE GRAPES, AND IT'S OUR JOB TO STOMP ON THEM AND KEEP THEM IN THE DARK UNTIL THEY MATURE INTO SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH." ~AUTHOR UNNAMED
"I THINK MEN WHO HAVE PIERCED EARS ARE BETTER PREPARED FOR MARRIAGE. THEY'VE EXPERIENCED PAIN AND BOUGHT JEWELRY." ~RITA RUDNER
"PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ASKING COUPLES WHOSE MARRIAGES HAVE ENDURED AT LEAST A QUARTER OF A CENTURY FOR THEIR SECRET FOR SUCCESS. ACTUALLY, IT IS NO SECRET AT ALL. I AM A FORGIVING WOMAN. LONG AGO, I FORGAVE MY HUSBAND FOR NOT BEING PAUL NEWMAN." ~ERMA BOMBECK
A Woman's Perfect Breakfast
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. ~Unknown
In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. ~Margaret Thatcher
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. ~Gloria Steinem
Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it. ~Helen Rowland
"MY MOTHER BURIED THREE HUSBANDS, AND TWO OF THEM WERE JUST NAPPING." ~RITA RUDNER
Ooh, Joy, I just had to share the one about not being Paul Newman with my Hunky Husband. *laughing*
Posted by: Cop Car | February 04, 2012 at 12:09 PM
I like that one too, Cop Car! They are all good.
Posted by: kenju | February 04, 2012 at 06:46 PM
LOL!!! These are FUNNY!!!!
Posted by: Junie Rose | February 05, 2012 at 01:02 PM
HA! These were hilarious. I really liked the Thatcher quote.
Posted by: Tara R. | February 05, 2012 at 07:36 PM
The one about admitting when you are wrong and shutting up when you're right is really really true.
Wish I were better at that!
Posted by: Hattie | February 06, 2012 at 11:37 AM