~ get last minute stuff at the store -
~ go back to store for things I forgot -
~ remember to stuff ONLY the turkey....DON'T PIG-OUT! -
~ continue daily psych sessions to put Xmas decorations up right after Thanksgiving -
8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good)
1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST.)Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back.
After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.
When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room,.... it's done.
Now who thought I couldn't cook?
Pass The Gravy….
Thanksgiving Day’s here, so I’m coming to you.
An abundance of food is sure to be found.
I’m praying you’ll guide me….and help slow me down.
Please give me strength…I implore and beseech
That you’ll keep ‘second helpings’ well out of my reach.
That you’ll keep me in check as my plate grows;
And you’ll stop me from hogging the mashed potatoes.
That veggie-cheese casserole can’t come my way,
And somehow you must keep the gravy at bay.
I’m asking a lot for this day so divine,
And I’m sure you’ve got other requests…not just mine.
Remind me that one scoop of stuffing suffices;
And turkey is fine….just not five or six slices.
With all that is laid out on splendid display,
I hope buttered rolls won’t be part of my day.
Why can’t I load up on things better for me?
Because on this day….there are none to be seen.
Cranberries or jello might work for me best;
But who in their right mind could give up the rest?
Let me eat a bit slower and take it all in;
Small bites, so the gravy won’t drip from my chin.
Let me breathe in the joy of every aroma;
And don’t lay me victim to some turkey coma.
Yes, I need you to know that my wishes are dire;
For one of these times I’m sure to expire.
I figured a prayer just a few days before,
Might keep me from ending up flat on the floor.
I have to leave room for all the dessert.