Oooo, oooo, I Have a Question....

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

It's income tax time! Did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells  'THEIRS'? 

Comments

[cassie-b]

Thanks for the laugh(s).

Laughing always makes for a better day.

Cas

[junie]

:) Very funny stuff, Joy!

I enJOYed that- ;)

Junie

[Cop Car]

Have mercy on all the things that jiggle about when I laugh hard, Joy.

[GoingLikeSixty]

I needed a laugh right when I went to RSS - found it here.
The Dutch are Holes? LOL - my favorite.

[mary lou]

toothpicks....LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[Kay Dennison]

LOL I think 11 should be oneteen and 12 should be twoteen.

[Liz]

I think you should write to the PO and suggest that idea about stamps!

[Merle]

Dear Joy ~~ A lot of good things in that post my friend. One of my sons in law came from Holland so I guess he's a hole. I have left an award for you on my blog Joy, hope you enjoy it. Take care, dear friend,
Love, Merle.

[Nancy]

You know, Joy I have often wondered about those pictures in the Post Office,too.

Why didn't the authorities just keep those people when they were taking their picture?

[buffy]

I not only enjoyed the questions, but I spent a few minutes trying to get the black cat to purr! Thanks for the diversion on a gray and rainy day.

I hope you're located somewhere high, and not in one of the floodplains in the Chicago area. It looks like a lot of people are going to flood this weekend. I'm pretty sure that we will be safe, but the ground is going to be boggy for days. It will give me time to heal the poison ivy before I get to garden again.

Take care, sweetie!

[Suzann]

Joy - what a hoot - still haven't stopped laughing :) Stay warm and dry - it is really yucky outside. Thanks for the laughter, I have been needing that - as always, hugs

[Merle]

Dear Joy ~~ I am glad you are pleased with the award and hope you can get it on your sidebar.
Take great care, my friend, Love,Merle.

[storyteller]

I love this post … have read it several times just now … and appreciate the laughter … always ;--)

So … do you just sit down and come up with these witticisms … save them up over time to share all at once … or do you have a ‘secret source’ you tap periodically? Inquiring minds and all that, right?

As for specifics … I’ve had students actually ask me the first question … have often wondered about the second (and the one about bald guys) myself … almost keeled over at number three … (you get the idea, right?) Thanks so much for sharing.

Looks like you're still having trouble with your sidebar since I see no awards there today. If you need me to resend the codes, I can do that quite easily.

I hope all’s well with you and yours.

Hugs and blessings,

[Stu savory]

Quoth ye : "Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?"

Serious answer : Because the Anglo-saxons originally counted to base 12.

12 inches to a foot.
12 months to the year.
12 pence to the pound (in the old British currency).
etc etc.