The Joy of Six...

A little of this and that...

I hope 2012 gets better than it started out for me.  Besides getting a year older and achier and going through the last couple of weeks feeling kind of yucky and blah, January has just been oodles of fun so far.  Okay, my birthday was nice...even though I was in the middle of  that 'blah' period....that seems to be lingering here and there.  All the snow we got over last weekend has melted substantially...yay!  I still have to find and thank the incredibly kind and thoughtful neighbor that shoveled my entire walkway early Saturday morning while I was sleeping.  I didn't hear a thing....which is pretty unusual for me.  I'm afraid to listen to any weather reports that might say we could get more....DENIAL!  As much as I love seeing snow-covered trees, etc...noone has figured out a way to experience the beauty of it without the nuisance and danger of trying to get around in it.  I think I'm becoming an old grump.

Just watched the President give the State of the Union address....wasn't sure I even wanted to watch it this time around; but I'm glad I did; I'm always glad I do.  I don't know why I always seem to watch how many times John Boehner (Speaker of the House) does or doesn't applaud when the President speaks.  He always looks mad... like he's pissed to even be there.  That man kind of irks me in general.

Thought I'd share these with you....

How Things Have Changed (Click on image to enlarge.)

 

 

 

Some of those are actually a little disturbing to me because they're so frighteningly true.  I hope you're all having a good week.  Stay well....and take care.  ~Joy xo

'There's No Crying in Poker...'

Sorry if I've been a little remiss in my posting lately; since last Thursday I've been a 'little off.'  Some would say....'a little?'  I'm still not feeling myself, but I'm realizing more and more as I get older that I really don't know what 'myself' is anymore.  If I were to guess, I think I might be going through another one of my kidney stone episodes....without the actual appearance of a kidney stone.  I do have two or three of the little guys lurking around according to my last CAT scan.  I've had similar episodes before and don't know why they STILL baffle me.  I always get confused trying to decipher what I'm actually feeling.  Maybe it's because these matters are not always consistent even in the same victimized body.

Anyhoooo, I refused to let it ruin my birthday celebration with Jen, Dan and Joe.  Poker night was fun...and I actually was feeling pretty 'normal' that day.  Yeah, I lost $3.00....but I made up for it in laughter.  No one ever loses very much money in our little games....and none of us would really care if we did.  It's all about the fun of spending time together 'raking each other over the coals' that we most look forward to.  I'd say I'm the major 'rakee.'  It seems I'm just too hilarious for words and my kids can't wait to jab me to see what reaction they get.  I say, 'bring it on you nasty, monster children...I can take whatever you throw at me.'

Had a really nice birthday in general...lots of calls, cards, e-mails and some presents from those very same terrible children.  I even had a surprise visit from Denise and TW on Saturday....with a little box from the bakery to help celebrate the day.  I sliced that little treat up after dinner for the four of us....YUM.  Thank you ladies.

We did some 'face time' too...calling Bella, Bastian and Liv from Jenna's new IPad.  Now that was fun.  I loved to be able to actually see the kids...and vice versa....rather than only hearing them.

Watched a lot of football on Sat. and Sun. too.  What in the world happened to the Packers?  I guess those couple of weeks off after their last game of the season may have done them more harm than good.  My brother, who lives in Wisconsin and is a Packer-Backer....because it's the law if you live there, must be in a deep depression along with the rest of the state.  Sorry Ken.

Have a good week everyone.... ~Joy xo

Shakespeare wrote about the 7 ages of man...Now Maxine uses the number 7 to refer to another facet of our being human.....(thanks to my cousin Donna for this)

Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time, your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'Screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * This means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon, and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.      * This is when you cannot stand your wife any more.  She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.

 

Happy Birthday...'Welcome to the party' Medicare

                                                             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

         I started Medicare on the first day of the year....I guess I'm 'officially' old.  Even though my mind and spirit kept telling me differently...my body was not going along for the ride.  Yep, Medicare and Me....BFF here on out.

Hey, it is what it is....imperfections and all.  One thing I know.... dear 'ol Medicare is going to be a lot kinder to me and my pocketbook.  I won't miss those monthly horrendous insurance premiums.  I won't miss that ridiculous yearly deductible.  I won't miss seeing red every time I had to watch my $$$ fly out the window and into thin air.  Talk about painful.  Now I'll only have to deal with about a third of the pain....I say that's bad enough.

I officially turn 65 on January 14th.  Grateful that I made it this far with some semblance of sanity...and hopeful to continue the journey with my sense of humor in tact.  Ideally, when my time DOES come, I'd like the last thing that comes sputtering from my mouth to be hysterically funny.  My kids would appreciate that.

Speaking of birthdays....

My amazing and beautiful mother-in-law will be celebrating her 95th in a few days....the 11th.  She's thirty years older than me....and what a special person she is....in every way.  'Nana,' as we lovingly call her, has been through more than her share of life's challenges....and continues to inspire us all.  She's just a little bitty thing, but she's feisty and resilient....with a strength and spirit that is remarkable.  Happy Birthday Nana....I love you so much.

Also celebrating a birthday on the 11th is my son-in-law, Jesse.  Oodles of love to a terrific guy and member of our family....and without a doubt one of the best dads a kid could ever be blessed with.  Hope he does something special to celebrate....he deserves it.  Happy Birthday Jess...

As for me....looks like the kids and I will be having a dinner and poker night.  My choice.   Well, you know, when you get to be 'up there'....blah, blah, blah.    Have a wonderful weekend everyone....

~Joy  xo 

   

Places I've been…

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.  Apparently, you can't go alone.  You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito.  I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane.  They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.  I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt.  That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense!  It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart!  At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in.  It's an age thing.

"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching."

Happy 2012

I'll be having a quiet New Year's Eve again this year.  It's how I've spent it for the last umpteen years...and I really don't mind.  Jenna will be with her boyfriend, Dan; and Joe will hang out and be silly with me for most of the day. 

Years ago it became a tradition for Joel and I to attend the NYE party of a couple who had an apartment right on Lake Shore Drive in downtown Chicago.  They were part of a group of friends that we played bridge with on a regular basis.  It was always kind of a formal thing, and Carol, the hostess, was a gourmet cook who made the most wonderful hors d'oeuvres...not to mention a beautiful sit-down dinner.  We had the best time, great conversation, lots of laughs; and the view overlooking Lake Shore Drive and Lake Michigan was stunning.

One year we spent the evening at a fancy restaurant in Chicago where Joel was hired to go around to all the tables and do card tricks. (He use to dabble in magic and card tricks for many years when he was younger.)  I didn't really know many people there, outside of recognizing some local tv newscasters, etc.....but it was a lot of fun.

Then of course there were the years when the kids were small when we'd have a few friends over for the evening.  Times sure do change.  I can't remember the last time I actually went out for New Year's Eve; now I watch some of the festivities on tv if I can even make it to midnight.

Since I'm not making any resolutions....again; because I'm so horrible at keeping them....I'm posting some messages...inspirational and funny... that I thought I'd share with all of you to start out the new year.

Happy New Year to all of my dear blogging buddies, family and friends.  May you all be blessed with an abundance of love, good health, happiness and peace throughout this new year; and may we all find many moments of laughter and joy in our lives.  Love, Joy  xo



















































However you're celebrating the New Year....enjoy!  Cheers to all of you...  ~Joy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOW TO START A FIGHT

 

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

 

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,  "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....
______________________________

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered. 

 

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...
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I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....
_______________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.  But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer... always something more important to me.  Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.  I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.  I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

______________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage.  I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.  I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.  I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.  She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.  You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,  "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's near perfect."

And then the fight started........

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I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'

So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

 

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Another year is ending, and I'm not making any resolutions for the new one.  I've never been good about keeping resolutions.  I just want to wish you all much love, health, happiness, peace and contentment in 2012. 

Happy New Year everyone....and NO fighting.  ~Joy xo   

Christmas Joy

The great thing about Christmas is seeing the joy on children's faces!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

However you plan to damage and permanently scar your family this Christmas....have fun.  Happy Holidays everyone... ~Joy xo

Thanks to my sis-in-law, Mary Kay for sending these to me....

Holiday odds & ends....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This came a couple of days ago from Julie, Chris and the kids.  One of my most favorite bouquets.  I'm trying not to open it and inhale those cookies for as long as possible.  Looks way too pretty to eat...but somehow I think I'll manage.

I was treated to dinner the other night by two fabulous ladies.  Denise and TW picked me up at 6:00 and we made our way to Prairie Grass Cafe in Northbrook, Il.  Nice place, really good food...and I don't think we stopped laughing the whole time we were there.  Those ladies kill me.  Denise is the Community Manager for BlogHer...so I work with her all the time.  You couldn't ask for a better boss.  What a nice evening....I think it was just what I needed.  Thanks again sweet friends...

We had a little snow...not much, maybe an inch; but it's almost melted already.  That's fine by me...even though I do like a little whiteness for Christmas.  I can't remember ever going this long into December without getting some horrendous snow storm or blizzard.  I think we're all a little shocked here in the midwest...but hey, noone is complaining.  Especially since we keep hearing that 'it's coming.'  "It" is what scares me.  I just try to block it out of my thoughts.  My survival tactic.

Jen, Joe and I got all of our presents mailed off to Bella, Bastian and Olive the other day....and they were delivered without any problems.  I know those kids are excited....even little Olive could hardly contain herself.  No peeking before Christmas guys.

I hope you all are doing well and your holiday preparations are running smoothly.  Only one week away....YIKES!   Bless you all....and Happy Holidays.  ~Joy  xo

 

 

In Honor...and Memorium

 

 CHRISTMAS AT ARLINGTON CEMETERY

(Click on photos to enlarge.)

 

Rest easy, sleep well my brothers.

Know the line has held, your job is done.

Rest easy, sleep well.

Others have taken up where you fell, the line has held.

Peace, peace, and farewell...

These wreaths -- some 5,000 -- are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, Maine . The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He's done this since 1992. A wonderful guy. Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one of the poorest parts of the state.

 

 Tomb of the Unknown Soldier



1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?


21 steps: It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary. 




2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why? 


21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1




3. Why are his gloves wet? 


His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.



4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and, if not, why not? 


He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder. 




5. How often are the guards changed?


Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.



6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to? 
 

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10' and 6' 2' tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30". 

 

The guards must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform or the tomb in any way.   

After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.   

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt.

There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror. 

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. 

A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: 

~ President Taft 
~ Joe Lewis {the boxer} 
~ Medal of Honor winner Audie L. Murphy, the most decorated soldier of WWII and of Hollywood fame. 

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for  guard duty.




ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm.

On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment.  They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!" Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled  continuously, 24/7, since 1930. 



God Bless and keep them. 

Roads Less Traveled

Growing up as a kid my family use to take yearly vacations to Wisconsin, staying in cottages on several different lakes in a couple of different towns.  Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins on my dad's side of the family....all traveled to be together for a few weeks every summer.  One year the adults in the family finally decided to purchase one of those cottages on a lake that we frequented over the years.  Those were such fun times with so many of us together for weeks on end...eating great meals (I think I can safely point my finger at all those delicious meals being the catalyst for my weight wars), swimming all day long until we were brown as berries, going to town to shop around and sometimes attending the outside movie in the middle of town, picking berries for Grandma's preserves, and just generally wallowing in the sun and fresh air as much as we possibly could.  No pressure...no agenda....just as I liked it.  We made SO many memories...times I still think of with great fondness.

I was one of those kids who tolerated the drive there...at least along the busy highways and interstates that became our routine route.  But once we were in the more rural areas of Wisconsin with farms, fields filled with horses and cows, and beautiful winding tree-lined roads all around us....I was in heaven.  I loved looking out the window at all that beauty around me.  It was such a peaceful and comforting feeling driving under those tall trees with their bending branches arched over us.  It gave me the 'warm and fuzzies' all over.  I guess I've always had 'a thing' for beautiful trees. 

Even better was to walk down some of those country lanes and roads where you could really take in all that those trees, wildflowers...and wildlife had to offer.  I can't remember the last time I've actually walked down a country road....it's been way too long.  Maybe I wouldn't be able to walk very far these days, but I know how much I still appreciate the nostalgia of it all.

Though I have traveled on many different and interesting roads since those days...country roads will always have a special place in my heart. 

The Strangest and Most Beautiful Roads in the World (Click on pic to enlarge)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope things are going well for you all as you prepare for the holidays.  Next project for me...wrapping presents.  Enjoy this special time everyone....  ~Joy  xo 

Are You Getting the Most Out of Your Vehicle?

Apparently I'm not....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inventive or insane?  It's a toss-up for me....thanks for these Nancy.

Still working on Thanksgiving leftovers; but now I'm on to Christmas....have a great day, and an even better week.  ~Joy  xo